Sunday, January 21, 2007

If this news wasn't on Reuters

If this news wasn't featured in the Reuters website, I wouldn't have believed it.

I hope nobody gets offended. All for a laugh. Right? When I mention "Indian" here, I refer to the people from that country, not what is reflected in your IC. Hell, like as if I'm Chinese anyway. I'm Singaporean, first and foremost.

But I am sure everyone remembers the 2006 Reutergate scandal where a Reuter photographer doctored his photos of the Lebanon-Israel conflict.

Find the news here.

Only Virgins Need Apply
It says in the article that about 2 of every 3 young (16-25 years old) Indian men wants to marry a virgin. Well...that's understandable but hardly reasonable given this day and age.

Of the 3 young Indian men, 1.5 of them would have had sex with prostitutes. So Durex, Trojan, Carex, etc take note. Actually, I'm sure they have taken note. Otherwise India should have overtaken China's population in March 1997 (unverifiable claims from general source). So Indian girls take note, if your boyfriend has sex with you before marrying, he probably thinks that you are a prostitute or has no intention of marrying you. If you haven't had sex, it's either you are a) not a prostitute, b) not married. If you've had sex, it's either you are a) a prostitute, b) married, c) reduced your chance of marriage by 60%.

Holding Hands Homosexuality
Very slightly over 1 of every 3 young Indian men, had had a homosexual experience. Ok, things get a little hot in here. I have always assumed that the dark-skinned and moustachioed men walking down Little India hand in hand were Bangladeshis and it was supposedly a common thing for good friends to do. Now I have my doubts. I used to kid people by saying that Bangladesh didn't have good public lighting and alot of uncovered potholes. So by holding hands with friends will reduce the chances of falling into the potholes at night. By being enlightened on this, I now understand why so many Indians have mustache. Do they work out much?

The Need For Better Pay
Well, I hope the bosses in the construction industry pay the foreign talent better so that they can have "make relief" and "sexy time" with females rather than fornicate in their rented bunks with fellow foreign talent, of the same sex. This is as viewed from a public health and safety issue. Either pay them more or the government should relax on the use of domestic helpers from The Philippines an archipelagic state north east of us.

Indian men are getting their "afternoon delights" earlier as well. Instead of the usual tea and cakes, they are having sex younger at 18 instead of 23 from a similar survey 2 years ago.

We Are Family!
The last piece of news, which is probably the most disturbing...Indian girls (and boys, for that matter), beware of your young uncles, fathers, brothers and whatever else in between....there is a 14% chance of you having a sexual experience with them. 14% of thos survey said they had had sex with a member of their own family. Wowee Zowee! Maybe in the 14% are those who ahve paid the pimp the required amount in rupees only to find that their sister (who is the No. 4 prostitute in Calcutta - just like Borat!) is serving them. They do it anyway. Or maybe their mums? MILF? Should be OMILF instead. O = Own. or MMILF. M = My. The poll stated "a member of their own family" without stating the sex (could be male) or age (I don't want to guess).

Have I offended anyone?

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