Monday, October 31, 2005

Collecting dress

Accompanied V today with her former PWC colleagues to collect a dress specially tailor-made for her ROM ceremony.

The dress was pink and simple. However a few well-placed details made the dress complete. I don't know how she looked in it. Cause she paraded it behind closed doors for V and her other friend. I am suppose to say she looks fantastic in it.

She looks fantastic in it.

But they thing that really interested me while at the seamstress was the number of pets the family kept. There was a furry looking cat who was painfully shy. Two young arowanas, a saltwater tank with two fish, about 50 discuses of varying sizes and two Indian Star tortoises. The tortoise is endangered and a complete landlubber.

Weird stuff in the fridge

Not commonly found in everybody's home but just so happen to be in my fridge.

Laxmi henna

Laxmi Henna. My sister's.

Close up.
Laxmi Henna

How appealing. Makes you wanna use some doesn't it?

And also George Romney's Kendal Mint Cake.
Kendal Mint Cake

Which I got from Lake District in 2001. I don't remember seeing an expiry date. Not many have heard of Kendal Mint Cake much less tasted them. It's super sweet and you normally nibble and probably shouldn't finish the entire block.

The story goes that someone in Kendal was trying to make clear glacier mints, but let the sugar overcook, and saw that the mix had become cloudy rather than clear. He poured it our anyway, and the result was Kendal Mint Cake. Production started in 1869 and it was sold at Kendal railway station among other places. Hence its fame spread to across the north of England. Kendal Mint Cake got two big publicity boosts from being used by Shackleton on has Arctic expeditions and by the first Everest expedition team. There are some bits leftover by Sir Edmund Hilary and Tenzing Norgay at the summit of Everest to appease the gods.

kendal mint cake

Maybe I should join the Gobi March and eat it then. It melts. So maybe not.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

‘La Terre Vue du Ciel’- Earth from above

The French Embassy and the Singapore Environment Council present the world-renowned photographer Yann Arthus-Bertrand’s exhibition ‘La Terre Vue du Ciel’ or ‘Earth from Above’. It will be held on Orchard Road stretching across Liat Towers, Far East Shopping Centre, Hilton Hotel and Forum Galleria from October 27, 2005 to January 17, 2006. A first of its kind in South East Asia, the exhibition is an aerial portrait of our planet captured in 120 breathtaking photos. The event will be launched in conjunction with the Clean and Green Week of Singapore, which is celebrating its 10th Anniversary. Yann Arthus-Bertrand will be present at the opening ceremony!

Well, it's already opened. I am sure many have seen his book at shops all over the island. Especially memorable is the one featuring the heart-shaped mangrove.

Reproduced from his website:


A mangrove swamp is a semi-aquatic forest common to muddy tropical coastlines with fluctuating tides. Made up of halophytes (plants that can grow in a saline environment), with a predominance of mangroves, these swamps cover almost one-quarter of tropical coasts and a total of some 56,000 square miles (15 million hectares) worldwide. This represents only half of their original extent, because these fragile swamps are continually shrinking due to the overexploitation of resources, agricultural and urban expansion, the creation of shrimp farms, and pollution. The mangrove nonetheless remains as indispensable to sea fauna and to the equilibrium of the shoreline as it is to the local economy. New Caledonia, a group of Pacific islands covering 7,000 square miles (18,575 km2), has 80 square miles (200 k2) of a fairly low (25 to 33 feet, or 8 to 10 m) but very dense mangrove swamp, primarily on the west coast of the largest island, Grande Terre. At certain spots in the interior that are not reached by seawater except at high tides, vegetation gives way to bare, oversalted stretches called “tannes,” such as this one near the town of Voh, where nature has carved this clearing in the form of a heart.

So today, before dinner, V and I strolled through the exhibition.
It would have been a much more enjoyable experience if it was in air-conditioned comfort. The irony.

Weekend marriage pressure

My cousin got married on Saturday.
So I suppose it was "natural" to be asked when my turn was.

Try "If you have to ask me, then not yet."

And the shocking thing was this: even my peers asked me. I finally managed to check Zouk (revamped) out. I don't know where the 7 million went to. Perhaps the fibreglass looking ribcage covering the winebar? Perhaps the extended depth and width of Phuture? Perhaps the migration of the Phuture bar or the LED screen? Perhaps the extended Zouk members' area? Perhaps the textured walls that run one side of Zouk? Perhaps the new sound system? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

I hope it's the sound system. Didn't check velvet out, not incline to.

So we were all tucked nicely but warmly at the end of winebar and I cannot for the life of me recall what happened. I think someone asked someone why s/he got married. Somehow the spotlight fell on me.


Chinese New Year came early?

Anyway, cousin's wedding was a subdued affair. Simple, compared to those weddings that include powerpoint presentation of the wedding album, video show of the day's happenings....e tc etc...but what it had in place was good humour - from the groom's brother and plenty of decorum. Not usual but it is a wedding no less.

The groom's family came from everywhere. Originally Sri Lankan and now the groom's US citizen but probably a PR here. Spoke at length with his sister who is a nurse practitioner if I did hear her correctly. She is from Richmond, Virginia. We were just asking each other some questions and somehow she started asking about Lee Kuan Yew whom she thought was still the Senior Minister. After correcting her, I went on to compare the political structure of our two countries. I was quite critical of the current US President but thought his team was one of the most progressive in terms of make up. Her own words, "Bush isn't too bright but he has a fantastic team of advisors." I cannot disagree.

I later learn from my aunt that the groom is a Republican.


I must learn to be conversationally neutral. Learn my lesson.

Saturday, October 29, 2005


I remember when I discovered Jeff Buckley. It isn't as vivid as I thought it would be but I remember the year - 1995. It was on a late night US Billboard show that had this VJ called Nonie (remember her?) doing the show. They introduced a fast riser - some red hot thingie - who was storming up the charts. A then relatively unknown Canadian called Alanis Morisette. It was her single You Oughtta Know. Well at that time I thought this banshee wasn't all that impressive but my opinion of her has since changed.

But what really caught my eyes, or ears, as it were, was how the show will also highlight some of the precious gems in the top 100 chart that deserves more attention. And that was when Jeff Buckley came on, introduced as the son of Time Buckley. The song was Last Goodbye.

The guitar introduction must have done it for me. And when he laments that "You know you make me so angry, cause I know that in time, I can only make you cry, this is our last goodbye.", he became my ideal teenage forsaken lover figure. Here was a man that was addressing to all and sundry, anyone who would listen that love does not conquer all. A romantic notion that if it's easy, it ain't love.

Perhaps that is why I like Antony and Johnson's Cripple and The Starfish so much. "It's true I always wanted love to be hurtful. It's true I always wanted love to be filled with pain and bruises.".

Jeff Buckley drowned on 29 May 1997. The day when the news came out in Straits Times Life! Section I came to remember it clearer than I thought I would. It was the first time my then girlfriend came over to my place. We were reading the papers and dad was in the kitchen reading his.

I still keep the newspaper clipping inside the cd album jewel case.

And to that, I'd say "Oh maybe I'm too young, to keep good love from going wrong.".

Jeff Buckley would go on to inspire bands that I totally enjoy listening to now. Chris Martin of Coldplay, Thom Yorke (the recording of Fake Plastic Trees was done after Thom had returned from Jeff's concert), Rufus Wainwright, Duncan Sheik, Starsailor, the list goes on and serves only as a perfunctory reminder.

Does anybody listen to Suddenly, Tammy!

Weird but kinda expected

I have been clubbing at Zouk for a number of years now. And always thought I will continue to do until I don't know when.

And when my sister was growing up, it did occur to me that one day, she might just end up here. Which isn't too bad. Cause Zouk is quality clubbing.

But when this actually happens, it feels kinda weird....

Here's to my sister, who will always been a little younger than me. Dosage.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Singaporeans not efficient?

I remember joking with yugin when he was back for jammie and eric's wedding earlier this year. We were at Brewerkz when he started telling me some of the people he met since he was back. He was making arrangements with them and would tell them to send him a text regarding the time and place to meet up.

Text? Where got people in Singapore use text one? Almost everyone I know say SMS. Rewind to 15 years ago, Singaporeans will say, "Eh, later you page me leh." but when you watch US movies and shows, they use "buzz" or "beep" instead.

Fast foward to now, in the UK, people will say "text me" instead of "sms me".
A conversation will be something like:

Posh Nosh: Should we meet for a cup of tea, some scones and jam? Perhaps warm crumpets and butter?

Rich Bitch: What a brilliant idea! Where should we have tea?

Posh Nosh: Betty's Tea Room of course!

Rich Bitch: Wonderful. I was hoping you would say that.

Posh Nosh: How should we meet?

Rich Bitch: I'll text you.

Posh Nosh: See you later!

But if they were Singaporeans who are world-renowned for being efficient, even with words, the conversation will go something like this instead:

Ah Lian: Aye mai lim teh?

Ah Hua: Steady. Where?

Ah Lian: kopitiam lah.

Ah Hua: Swee.

Ah Lian: What time? (actually she will pronounce "time" as "tham")

Ah Hua: I Ass Em Ass (sms) you.

Ah Lian: Steady.

Notice that Ah Hua and Ah Lian were so concise and efficient in the conversation compared to Posh Nosh and Rich Bitch? But why is it that they use a three syllable acronym "SMS" instead of a one syllable word - "text". Was asking V about this. She enlightened me saying Singaporeans being more tech savvy associate text with .txt files and also we translated our speech from what we will actually type when we message. In any case, to type "SMS" is more efficient than to type "TEXT".

But the Brits will type "TEX" (3-letter) or "TX" (2-letter) instead of "TEXT". Which makes the number of letters the same or even less than "SMS" (3-letter).

We finally decided that it was because of Singaporeans' love of TLA - Three-Letter Acronyms.

PIE, HDB, CPF, AYE, NUS, NTU, SGH, CGH, NUH, CTE, KJE, ECP, MOE, ENV, MAS, COE, LTA, SLE, TPE, SAF, ERP, BMI, MOM, BKE, MRT, LRT, NEL, SIA, UOB, DBS, OUB, NOL, MPA, PSA, BMT, OCS, SPH, SCV, TCS (formerly SBC), alot of the junior colleges (VJC, AJC, TJC, NJC, PJC, MJC, JJC, IJC, RJC, CJC, YJC) and profanely, KNN!!! CCB!!! KNS!!!

So hard to pronounce words like "text" (people usually give it a silent "t" sound) won't survive. Weirdly, three syllable acronyms that Singaporeans are so fond of gets proliferated.

Have we been set to think that three syllable words are efficient?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Law Of Naval Warfare

Yes, not surprisingly, Naval warfare between 2 or more states in an armed conflict is bounded Laws.

And today was when I learn why to reveal your true self can also be said to reveal one's true colours.

In Navyspeak, colours also mean flags. And that can be the unique flag that your navy uses. According to some Law, it states that while a warship can use ruses like flying flags of other countries, the warship must at the point just before engagement on the enemy, fly the real flag. True colours.

Neat huh?

There is also this San Remo Manual (1994) that governs laws applicable in armed conflicts at sea.

There is this clause that restrict hospital ships from using secret codes. Hence hospital ships cannot use any form of encryption.

171. In order to fulfil most effectively their humanitarian mission, hospital ships should be permitted to use cryptographic equipment. The equipment shall not be used in any circumstances to transmit intelligence data nor in any other way to acquire any military advantage.

The interesting bit is this. Let's say Pulau Ubin is at war with Pulau Tekong. Pulau Tekong's hospital ship, for some reason, needs to communicate with Pulau Tekong warship and arrange for a rendezvous to evacuate the injured. Since no cryptographic equipment can be use, the communication between the hospital ship and warship will be in the clear (free from encryption). So all Pulau Ubin warships need to do is to listen in on the hospital ship's communications, follow the hospital ship which is heading for a rendezvous with the Pulau Tekong warship then blow the latter to smithereens.....

I am not so smart to think up that contentious example. I am not so clever. Far from it.

The Learning Organisation - my thoughts on

I just completed an amazingly condensed 2-day Learning Organisation workshop. It was conducted by XO in NAS and based loosely on Peter Senge's theory of organisations, 3-legged stool and what have you.

…organizations where people continually expand their capacity to create the results they truly desire, where new and expansive patterns of thinking are nurtured, where collective aspiration is set free, and where people are continually learning to see the whole together.

How is this relevant to a military organisation? Well, that's really not important to me. And I most certainly have lots of positive as well as cynical thoughts about such theories and the lofty intention to apply the theories, put them into practice. But perhaps I can better share them later...

The workshop made me go through my core values, my purpose in life and a whole lot of other activites. Now I certainly won't profess to have found my values, sadly. And I certainly don't think I have found my life's purpose. But I suppose what I have done was to really think.

So G was telling me today that during the purpose in life exercise, his finding was that he didn't have any and led him to think that his purpose in life was to find a purpose in life.

That sounded like a cop out. But he really thought so. And I shouldn't think otherwise. I mean, it's his life purpose.

Mine was this belief that the purpose is something about preference to have regretted having done something than to regret not doing anything so as to develop myself in an holistic manner.

Crap. Pure. Bullshit. Refined.

We could share such stuff freely because we were quite comfortable with each other and really his concern was that he really was thinking that a third of his life has gone and he finds himself purposeless (as oppose to purposeful). He starts thinking that he never had such problems in JC when his primary purpose was to be a good canoeist.

It was a well-defined purpose and he felt driven.

But not now.

When we were younger, we definitely had well-defined purposes, straight As for exams, get to Uni, get a gold medal in a sport....And now that we have gone through that phase, we don't know what should be the purpose. It's fuzzy, we know it's not well-defined and it can't be as simplistic as getting straight As anymore.

I think this is all for the better. The purposes we had when we were younger were expedient. Of course they will not apply now. We now know purpose cannot be so simple. So isn't it better now? That we are looking for the true purpose instead of something expedient?

Maybe that's why a large number of my 20-somethings friends found themselves undergoing quarter-life crisis, myself included.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Recovering ankle

So I hurt my ankle last month.

And posted some pictures of my coloured ankle.

See here and here.

Thing is, I have been trying to "run off" the injury. You know, the times when you watch EPL and after a player is tackled he will roll around and wince a bit, get some aerosol spray can then as if by magic, hobble off and starts sprinting off. That's like "running off" the injury. Didn't work for me.

I realise it doesn't work cause after the punishment I gave my ankle like when I ran to Serangoon Stadium and also training for my IPPT because I was required to pass it by 1st Oct by the Fleet and my Medical Certificate expired on 30 Sep. I could have gotten an excuse but being the man *cough cough* that I am, decided to pass it on 2nd Oct at Maju Camp.

Anyway, since I want to start some serious running, I needed to be in a good condition. Decided to get some chinese physician to look at my ankle.

It's bad enough to own a deformed ankle. To be lectured by the person treating you can be really demoralising. Although she was a small size woman, she really had the power in her wrist, forearm and fingers. I tried to relax and think of nice thoughts but in the end, probably blinked away a tear or two. She kinda said something like the swelling was not 一点点 like I described but quite bad considering it's been more than a month. If not treated properly will be susceptible to sprains in future and rheumatism. So I jokingly told her I tried to jog and run and that was when she gave me a sarcastic raised eyebrow with follow up remarks equalling her look.

Bet you don't get this from doctors.

Anyhow, I am suppose to go back in another 3 days time. In the meanwhile, my ankle is in some medicine wrap meant for overnight use. She said might take 3-4 sessions.

So now I am mummified again.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Gobi March 2005

For the guys out there who receive Pioneer magazine monthly, this month's issue ends with a cliffhanger of sorts. I just got mine in mail today.

It's the article about a commando who took part in the Gobi March this year.

Ultramarathons and multi-sport races came up in a recent conversation between jinks, sim kai and me. And this commando was brought up in the conversation because jinks was gonna do the standard chartered marathon this year. and he has 6 weeks to train for it. Anyhow, won't want to spoil the thriller by giving away anything as to whether or not the commando completed the march.

You can find a list of the competitors here. Quite a number of Singaporeans.

by the way, from what I know, he took leave to compete in the march.

I am inspired. lose some weight.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Ten Things You Will Never See.

Just thought I should have some fun tonight and think of some really impossible or totally useless stuff that hopefully will never be made....So here they are, in no order of demerit.......

10. Red Toilet Bowl Tablets

You know those tablets thing that you put into the water cistern that will colour the water blue and when flushed will clean the toilet bowl as well. I don't think we will ever see a tablet that will colour the water red....

9. Solar-Powered Torches
I actually think this might sound really possible. But the immediate response is that the torch is quite redundant....not always though.

8. Wind-Powered Fans
Again, the immediate response is that no idiot will come up with something like a wind-powered fan. But if the wind is harnessed from outside a windowless room and piped in, these fans could prove to be a success.

7. Motorbikes With Training Wheels
That will be really ridiculous. It's not impossible but....can you jsut imagine?

6. Breatheable Mesh Condoms
During those warm days when you and your partner still feel the urge and want some protection....

5. Teflon Coated Tampons/Sanitary Napkins
This sounds really good cause teflon has got to be one of the most frictionless materials around. The girl who is riding the crimson tide will be needing this smooth feel and ease of entry/application for tampons. Or even to feel the smoothness when wearing a sanitary pad. But teflon is also waterproof.

4. Parachutes, instead of lifejackets stowed under your seats during flight
I don't know why. There is definitely a very good reason. I can almost see it as well...Parachutes do sound like a better choice of life-saving equipment when you are tens of thousand feet above ground level.

3. Japanese/Eastern European Pornography With Plots
Why do I pick on Japanese and Eastern European porn industry? I am not. I am just using them as examples. Porn has no plot. If porn had a plot, it will be called The Wayward Cloud.

2. Windproof Bikinis
This just doesn't make sense right?

1. Mongolian Seafood BBQ
In a land-locked country? Finding a Naval Officer there would be equally tough.

I wanted to include Halal Pork but I thought they would be really seditious. Maybe I should include a humourous Singaporean....I hope everyone sees the funny side.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Fans of Hong Kong Films

I read with dread when I follow the news regarding the Hollywood remake of Infernal Affairs. I would rather watch this trilogy than The Godfather trilogy.
I think the story in The Godfather is intriguing and gripping but I can't remember much from le classique.

Infernal Affairs on the otherhand is succinct (despite being a trilogy) and maintains your attention span. More Pop no doubt.

The remake is famously gonna have Martin Scorsese team up with Leonardo DiCaprio again (third time after Gangs of New York and The Aviator). Leonardo plays the Tony Leung character while Matt Damon (no longer brad Pitt) takes on the Andy Lau role - sinister role, just like The Talented Mr Ripley. Mark Wahlberg is the Anthony Wong role - both their superiors and Jack Nicholson is playing the Eric Tsang role.

I read that Martin Scorsese didn't watch the original according to some website reports but I think that's fine. He will be able to give the movie a unique feel. I'm not sure if many of the lead actors/actresses seen the whole original trilogy. The Departed - name of the remake - was re-writtened by William Monahan (he wrote Kingdom of Heaven too), supposedly combining the entire trilogy into one movie.

I have a bad feeling about this one.

I didn't watch Gangs of New York. I thought Leo was poorly casted in The Aviator and the movie was a tad too long.

I must remember that however much praise was lauded on these two men, they have never received any Oscar, however many times there were nominated.

Election - no not Singapore's

Although I think Singapore's General Election will take place after all matters regarding the Integrated Resort and NKF saga dies down and probably more high profile appearances by Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, Mr Lim Swee Say and we will see more new blood. I heard things about senior editors from Ass Tee joining the fray scene. I said 'I heard". You hear?

The Election I'm talking about is the new Johnnie To's movie starring Simon Yam, Louis Koo and Tony Leung Kar Fai. Johnnie To of course made Look Left Look Right and Running On Karma which Andy Lau starred and won the Best Actor award (Hong Kong Film Award) in the latter film in 2003. Ironically Andy Lau beat Simon Yam that year. Simon Yam was in PTU, another movie by Johnnie To as well...

Anyways, the movie poster was supposedly banned in Hong Kong because the poster depicted triads' hand signals which were too authentic.

This is the second movie I have watched this month with Tony Leung in it. I must say I am totally convinced that he is really a versatile actor and in a class of his own. He plays the character Big D. The movie revolves around the story of the power struggle and realpolitik involved in a modern day triad come election time. Even the HK Police Force's Organised Crime and Triad Bureau (OCTB) is involved and concerned. The movie follows the age-old tradition of choosing a new leader to lead the different cells to new heights. I use the word "cells" with a purpose because the movie is a satire of politics in the real world and you can see issues arising from the botched US Presidential Elections in 2000, the Taiwanese Presidential Elections in 2004. The impetuses (not impeti) of actions and reactions that develop from interests (be it personal, triad, survival or the upkeeping of public decorum) and ungoverned by morals, ethics or principles. There are some obvious references to situations in Iraq....but all these if you allow your mind to wander/wonder.....otherwise this is an out and out triad movie. The ending's kinda crap though. Too politically correct.

This movie is up for 11 nominations in this year's Golden Horse. Kung Fu has 10. Johnnie To's effort last year, Breaking News was invited to Cannes Film Fest and won him the Golden Horse Best Director award.

Mum is careful about The Sedition Act.

Of late, mum has been forwarding stuff to us.

Be it pics or sites, she forward them to my brother, sister and I.

She just forwarded one with a Sinkh-themed question and answer email.

She quickly send us a follow-up after the previous email with this written:

Hi,you guys n niki

After reading, delete, do not pass on to others.
I think it's a bit racist.


Parents can be quite funny.

Postcard from Korea

I just got a postcard from Kenneth Seet.

Korea DMZ

He's just got back from a "day trip" to the DMZ and decided to send me a postcard from the attraction.

It says at the back of the postcard:

U.S. and ROK soldiers standing guard at United Nations Command Check Point Alpha, which controls access to the Demilitarized Zone.

You know what? The thing that struck me most was the good English used on the postcard.


I don't know.

Friday, October 21, 2005

My friend is now a father

I was over at Gleneagles Hospital this evening with V. Prior to that, I was at my gran's place.

Gran's right knee is hurting and my mum thinks it might be something to do with uric acid. She's still sprightly when I was chatting with her. But when she tried to stand, I had to hold her in order for her to find her balance. It looks a little swollen, her leg from the knee down. She's suppose to see the doctor tomorrow. It's been more than 3 weeks since she felt the pain and despite applying ointment and sticking medicated plaster, it hasn't been getting any better.

In July, she took a fall in market and if not for a kind man who helped her up, she would have spent a much longer time on the market ground. I can only wish that when I do see old folks needing assistance, I can do enough to help them. Surely they might be somebody's grandparent or parent and I am sure a grandchild or child somewhere is grateful for the fact that there are kind souls out there who will render help when it is needed. Gran does not know who the kind soul was, I thank you, wherever you are.

V and I were at Gleneagles because our friends became proud parents of their newborn daughter last night. The little baby girl was born at 2219H in Gleneagles. My friend, the same one that has gone through midshipman course, basic diving course, went through two 2-month sea deployment having visited medano, kure, hiroshima, pusan, chinhae, manila, bangkok, qingdao, kaohsiung with. The same friend whom together with me were commissioned as officers at the same parade and went on to UK to do our degrees. He being in london, ha invited me down several times and I remember the brocolli dinners, drunk snow fights in london. The same friend who I bumped into while we were both holidaying in florence, the same friend who tried to use his then girlfriend, now wife, as bait when i was waiting for him at king's cross station.....pretty as his wife is, i didn't take the bait. the same friend who went through njoc with me and went on to complete his spec course while i played catch up and now finally i caught up and we will both be heading to the same course next week. the same friend who seemed to know the people i consider as friends who are likely to see me through (poh huat, yisheng, pin). And that friend is now a father.

standing in the maternity ward with his family and friends, i could not sense the pride coming from him like a father should. but that is exactly the way he has always been. generous and selfless. he shares the pride with everyone who was in the ward. anyone who came to see his little princess was allowed to bring back a memory. there was something else that has overtaken pride. something more dignified, congenial, disarming even. something which was always found in him like when he was awarded the sword-of-honour. something that eludes me, that i can only always play catch up to.

my friend is now a father.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Sick Dutch

With Sitemeter, how your blog gets the readers can be rather weird.

But today I found this reference from a netherlands msn search. The search words were "little kid porn".

kinda makes you wanna scratch them eyes out.

Kellogg's Porn Flakes

A remedy [for masturbation] which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision...
The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an
anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect
upon the mind...
In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid
to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement."

- Dr. John Harvey Kellogg

"All kinds of stimulating and heating substances; high-seasoned food; rich dishes; the free use of flesh; and even the excess of aliment; all, more or less -- and some to a very great degree -- increase the concupiscent excitability and sensibility of the genital organs..."

- Sylvester Graham

Dr John Harvey Kellogg was a Seventh-Day Adventist who thought that the use of reprodutive organs were the highest form of physical act that man was capable of and any form of abuse was an outrage of nature. Right....pity his wife. Maybe she was getting some when his back was turned. And Sylvester Graham, an American Presbyterian Minister thought that a masturbator grows up "with a body full of disease, and with a mind in ruins, the loathsome habit still tyrannizing over him, with the inexorable imperiousness of a fiend of darkness." Cool. He obviously thinks wanking is a profession. He further believed that the loss of semen was injurious to health and one should not have sex more than 12 times a year. What? Injurious to health? No extras for being good? What about anniversaries and birthdays? Just once a month?

I am starting to worry cause I used to eat lots of Kelloggs Corn Flakes during uni days. I wonder if it has caused any damage to me. Thank god I don't think I have ever eaten any Graham crackers.

So what was Tori Amos on about when she was singing she wasn't a cornflake girl? She didn't believe in being repressed?

Special K

Why did Kellogs called their cereals Special K?

Coming up beyond belief
On this coronary thief
More than just a leitmotif
More chaotic, no relief ~ Special K by Placebo


Brian Molko definitely wasn't singing about tucking in to a bowl of nutritious breakfast cereals. I must say the use of leitmotif was rather dramatic (operatic?). Why Special K? Surely the fine fine folks at Kellogs, whose Seventh Day Adventist founding father, Dr John Kellog certainly had lofty ideas for his cornflakes then, do know of the name Special K being related to the drug Ketamine or specifically Ketamine Hydrochloride?

Ketamine is a short-acting general anaesthetic that has hallucinogenic and painkilling qualities that seem to affect people in very differently ways in case anybody wants to know. It's a drug. To use it without prescription and socially is to abuse it. That's no difference from eating too much vitamin C. well, not really...

Next blog I will write about Dr John Kellog and Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham.


I found myself wondering into the quaint English towns of Yorkshire tonight.
In particular those of North Yorkshire and the little towns that are found along the Esk valley. I miss the Lake District too of course.

My fondest memories are still of those where I go walking on Sundays with the outdoor society and discovering towns that are found only in story books or some travel programme.

The wide-open greeness flanked by limestone crags, layers buliding upon layers of undulating greenery. That was typical of the scene you can find in the dales like in Malham. While the moors gave a more subdued sense of nature's beauty with the colours of heather and rocky streams that flow eastwards like in Robin Hood's Bay.

The North York Moors Railway that runs through Esk Valley and the surrounding towns that dot along are the reasons why I like Goathland, Grosmont and Pickering.

With regards to the Lake District, my sole regret is that I have only been there once in all my three years in Yorkshire and the only consolation is that I was there during autumn. I don't think there are many places in the world that can beat the scenic beauty of an autumn's sunset while on a boat ride in the calm waters of the lake in Grassmere. In the words of Wordsworth, "it was the most loveliest spot that man hath found".

I would love to put some pictures here but I don't have a wasn't so popular or affordable in my uni days.....but will do so soon....

Debbie was telling me on Sunday that our French heroine, Vero, is back in York doing her PhD. That posited an opportunity to organise an excursion to York and the surrounds in the next 2-3 years or more, depending on how quickly Vero gets her thesis done. Wow, all the sights of Yorkshire again?

Breathe jackson, breathe....

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Smurfageddon - Weapons of Mass Smurfruction

There is a new UNICEF ad that will be shown in Belgium. That's where little blue friends are from. Peyo was the creator of course. The Smurf website's featuring the news of the advert as well.

~La la lala la la la la la la la~

It's a plea by UNICEF not to allow wars to destroy the children's world. To see Smurfette lying moribund facing downwards is indeed traumatic. And to have Baby Smurf in the middle crying it's little heart out can be really heart-tugging.

Here you see Smurfette (on the mid-left) with one of her heels dropped off and Baby Smurf's gut-wrenching cry....the background showing the Smurf Village being carpet-bombed

A pity it is not planned for a wider release. Singaporeans my age or my generation will definitely know what smurfs are. Along with Gargemel and Azrael.

I always thought scenes where Smurfette fusses over what to wear as she stands in front of her opened cupboard were funny. All her clothes looked the same. Actually, they are the same. It's a little like Ronald McDonald choosing the right clothes or boots.

One day you might have The Simpsons advocating alternative energy source
simpsons fuel

or Sesame Street advertising for PETA.

By the way, there's this great wiki on the smurfs being communists.

Smurfs actually is an acronym for Soviet/Socialist Men Under Red Father or so it is rumoured.

So I wasted my day

I wasted my leave. It was suppose to be a glorious day, maybe spend the day clearing up my room, things suppose to be thrown but guess what, I was at the aeromedical centre from 8am till 2.30pm. What a way to spend a day which I have already taken leave.

I remember this Indian man's T-shirt on the bus today.

It's Better In Jamaica

I bet it is.

I found out more from the nurse today about this eye pressure business. She was using this machine that looks exactly like the typical contraption with a chin rest and you plonk your face against the frame and then you are amde to look straight. There's this red light that will be replaced by a green light then a puff of air will be blown directly into the eye. Made me remember the times when I was younger and when I tell my mum something's in my eye, she will blow gently into my eyeball while prying my eyelids apart. Not very clincal but it got the job done. Apparently the measure of eye pressure has got to do with tonometry and the machine is a tonometer. No, it's not a device to assess the quality of toners from Shiseido, Lancome or SKII. That was such an unfunnny joke but since I have already typed it, I shall leave it.

From heanlthNJ

With tonometry, the pressure of the aqueous humor within the eye can be measured. The aqueous humor is the fluid in the front part of the eye. Normal pressure within the eye is 8 to 21 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg). Pressure in the eye is measured to detect certain types of glaucoma and monitor its treatment.

The noncontact ("air-puff") tonometer is used to screen for elevated pressure in the eye. This device is not highly accurate, but it is useful in screening. A small puff of air is blown against the cornea, which causes the person to blink but is not uncomfortable. The puff of air flattens the cornea, and the device measures the time (in thousandths of a second) it takes to flatten the cornea. It takes less time for the puff of air to flatten the cornea in an eye with normal pressure than it does an eye in which pressure is elevated.

Portable, handheld instruments are also used for tonometry. Eye drops that contain a drug to numb the eye are given, then the instrument is gently placed on the cornea, and a reading is obtained. Portable tonometers can be used in the emergency department or a doctor's office to quickly detect increased pressure in the eye.

Applanation tonometry is a more accurate method. The applanation tonometer is usually attached to a slit lamp. After numbing the eye with drops, the instrument is gently moved until it rests upon the cornea, while the doctor observes the cornea through a slit lamp. The amount of pressure it takes to indent the cornea is related to the pressure within the eye.

Almost all males go through the pre-BMT checks. I was asked to go back for some eye survey that they were having. They said they were going to take some readings. I guess it was alright and I could skip lessons. Not so bad. I thought.

So they drop some liquid to keep my pupils dilated and my eyes became very sensitive to light. At the end of the survey, they put in some other liquid and said my photo-sensitivity should be gone by the time I got home. But that didn't happen. So the next day I could barely keep my eyes open and was tearing alot, even under the flourescent lights in class. Michelle finally said I should go back and get more of the drops. So I did. And finally, after 48 hours or permanent dilation of my pupils (I must have been unable to tell lies successfully during that time. I was at my most honest), I got more fluids dropped in. Screw the fucking nurses at CMPB. They can get their carpets singed for all I care. They were so nonchalant about the entire affair. While I think my retina/pupils/iris (pardon my lack of biology knowledge) was permanently scarred after that and till now I cannot stand bright lights. So working in a naval base is rather horrendous when you consider that the base is a place where birds don't perch and shit, dogs don't pee against a trunk to mark territory. That's cause there aren't many trees.

My physical body was damaged even before I could serve the nation. And now they are messing up my mind. Ah!

Bumper Stickers

I dunno why but certain drivers like to degrade themselves when they paste funny stickers on their

This is my wife's taxi.


This is a recycled ferrari/porsche.

I think it just reeks of self-pity. Not entirely humourless but still there seems to be a barrel of hot air stuck....

I saw one really good sticker today at the back of a pick-up. you know, those small-ish lorries, usually used by karang guni man.

This was what the sticker said, in nondescript yellow background and sans serif black fonts - very much like a warning sign at a construction site.

0 - 100Km/H in 4.8 Hours

That's pride man.


had a medical check today at the ST Medical Centre near Paya Lebar Airbase today.

the usual...high blood 120/80 while sleeping, 130/80 while sitting.
glucose in urine *gasp* but it was better during the second round after a lot of water being drunk.

the alarming thing this time round is something to do with eyeball pressure. the doctor was saying it is not related in anyway to blood pressure.....he said some cheem medical term and told me i didn't have to understand that. then said, "but I will have to come back tomorrow to have my eyeball pressure readings taken hourly from 8am to 4pm."
what the hiaw. the only thing i know about eyeball and pressure is glaucoma....

what a disappointing day at the medical centre. I'm suppose to be on leave tomorrow!



Let me feel my mortality....

Since i might die....everybody's gonna anyway....

So i bought dan brown's angels and demons just now at mph. 20% off. yay! but i could have easily borrowed from friends. sigh...spendthrift but so yay!

and two new pair of running shoes. adidas vaning 5 and reebok premier competition.
and a bag of chocolates from candy empire - my excuse is that my mum has been asking me about jellybeans since she finished mine a month or more ago.

that's alot of shopping in a couple of hours...

I shall not die with a fat bank account....not that I have much to start with.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

tiring sunday

Woke early this morning and decided to punish my ankle. I don't like to have that lingering pain that throbs whenever I am beginning to forget that I sprained it.

I changed up and went running from my place to serangoon stadium. I used to do that very often when I was in sec 3 and 4. So that's ten years ago. The serangoon road stretch from boon keng mrt all the way to serangoon mrt has gone through alot of changes. New roads, flyovers, buildings....even the cemetary has been cleared out.

The reason why I ran to serangoon stadium when I was in sec sch was cause this crush I had stays at serangoon ave 4. So I will ran to the stadium thinking that I am closer to her this way. Adolescent thinking....sometimes guys don't grow out of it.

Anyhow, had a meet up with uni friends. The trouble (not really trouble per se) is that whenever we meet, I'm just the only guy. And when they talk about relationships stuff....I feel "at a loss" and desperate to explain for typical guys behaviour. I guess there is no need for it. So normally I try very hard to remain silent. The conversation this time round was rather heavy going. Friend talked about the unfortunate event while she was travelling around Nepal and Tibet. We went through the beautiful pictures of sky, mountains, lakes, Nepalese kids, temples, etc...(I must not reveal how she and two other journalists the group used their journalist status to pressure the Nepalese Tourist Board equivalent to take positive action on the hotel and tour agent who provided little assistance to them after they were burglared - oops!)

It was heavy going because another friend was telling us about the recent suicide of her colleague and how she had difficulty getting back to normality and fearing the dark and being alone. That was where the "men are bastards" topics start. But it was really difficult to defend the actions and words of certain "men". Some men are indeed bastards. Some are worse. But take heart that most men aren't. But all girls are shoppers or capable of being shoppers. However much they try to resist. Girls who are not shoppers are either not girls or haven't been properly groomed.

It's tongue in cheek. In case any of you bra-burners start hurling abuse at me.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Yorkie News

Blind man sets land speed record.

SE7EN Things : A Meme

A meme is not a chain letter because there is no promise of infinite increase in sex appeal if you forward them to X number of people and there is no curse of immediate terrible death if you don't. There are no interesting historical factoids that come along with them and so you can either choose to do it or you don't.

So this is for enuwy
Se7en Things You Plan To Do Before You Die: (damit, it's PLAN. not dream)
1) Live a better life (feeling more satisfied)
2) Invest my savings and CPF money
3) Get driving license
4) Travel through South America, Indochina, Antartica and South Asia
5) Get married *yawn*
6) Have kids (daughter: Chloe, son: Savion) *yawn*
7) Live in a colonial house (bungalow or terrace) like in Townerville or by the sea

Se7en Things I Can Do:
1) Have impossibly weird thoughts about strangers
2) Think up a movie plot complete with storyline involving people around me, soundtrack, set pieces etc
3) I am ambidexterous when the situation demands it. Yes. Go figure.
4) Con a RSN missile-armed craft
5) Live off a rich Singapore/Indonesian woman. I don't mind being a gigolo. Really.
6) Disappoint people. Let people down
7) Tell lies about things I can do

Se7en Things I Say The Most:
1) Narbeh Chao Cheebye (I am a sailor afterall)
2) Fuck.
3) Fucking hell
4) Huh? Hmm?
5) Really
6) Wah lau eh
7) Yes Sir (I am in the military afterall)
Strangely, I usually follow up No.7 with No.1 when Sir is out of earshot. - Not true.

Se7en Things I Can't Do:
1) Drive. Auto or manual.
2) Help myself from tearing in a cinema sometimes.
3) Love myself unconditionally
4) Touch my right elbow using my right hand
5) Give make girls have orgasms like porn stars do. But I can fake a porn star's orgasm (japanese/korean/american/european-eastern, central, western) pretty well
6) I can't be the commander. But I think I'd make a terrific deputy
7) Tell anyone the complete unabridged, unadulterated and uncensored version of My Life

Se7en Things That Attract You To The Opposite Sex:
1) C-cup Breasts X-factor
2) Good brains (people with 3 brains like Amy Yip, Anna Nicole Smith are useless to me, quality counts)
3) Proper features appearing where they normally appear
4) High libido Likes conversations on anything under the covers sun
5) Feminity
6) Resourceful and resolute
7) Lots of social grace

Se7en Celebrity Crushes:
1) Natalie Portman
2) Scarlett Johansson
3) Samantha Tan
4) Fiona Xie
5) Leslie Hayman
6) Kirsten Dunst
7) can't think of anymore

Se7en People I Want To Tag:
1) Cruncy Green Apple
2) V
3) Sailor's Log
4) Mong
5) Kim Moh
6) Gossipger
7) Dominique

The final interview

Boss was gonna be on leave next monday. I'm gonna be on leave from next Tuesday onwards. I am hoping that I won't need to go back on any other day. Otherwise it would really be like the past week.

That meant that I potentially will not be meeting him before my course starts. Which is scheduled on the 24th.

So chancing me onboard today, he asked me in for an interview. sorta.

we had a protracted chat on sundry topics like if I was ready for the course etc etc.

And then we went into specifics. Like principles, mindsets and the power of hindsight (arguing for the sake of arguing).

In summary:
In warfare, you must always have principles that should never quaver in the face of adversaries. Adversaries can come in multifarious forms. But you must show resolve. Principles are what guide you to form your action/reaction.

Mindsets are more nebulous. They guide you but they are in turn guided by assumptions and criterias. So if assumptions are no longer valid and if any of the criterion is not fulfilled, you must be flexible enough to push the boundaries and find new guidance while retaining sight of your principles.

The power of hindsight will be useless in warfare. Your tactical decisions must be sound at the moment you make them and not any later. You cannot justify them on hindsight because nobody has that ability; to predict how a scenario develops. The enemy at the end of a missile plan do not have that because dead people cannot re-learn or un-learn mistakes.People who 马后炮 have no bragging rights.

Warfare is like Mastermind - maybe not exactly a minute to learn, and for the commander who might have led his troops to certain death, surely a lifetime to master.

Leave like no leave like that

i was on leave from wednesday to friday.

i was at work from 1200H to 1400H on wednesday.
1100H to 1330H on thursday and
1100H to 1730H on friday.

what the hell am i doing?

anyways, was at the club yesterday. since base had some exercise going on and i didn't want to risk being kept in till 5pm, decided to walk over to the yacht club and use the gym and jacuzzi pool. it is not oftent that i find myself in this part of the island with time in my hands.

i haven't been using the club facilities much and it was a quiet afternoon so i found myself alone in a relatively strange place. managed to find the gym quite easily. it wasn't a big club anyway. the gym was kinda disappointing but i found the treadmill that i wanted. thereafter i went down to the infinity pool that overlooks the straits. it was really weird cause the pool was built overlooking the straits as well as the club's marina. so the "inifinity" effect was totally spoilt by the masts of the boat moored there.

but it was still a nice afternoon with a short 3k run on the treadmill followed by the jacuzzi pool. nice. quiet.

i suppose i might go to the club more if i could.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Do no harm

Jack, the doctor in Lost said something that once again says alot about men and letting go. As well as how many men think they will have this one romance that will leave all the bad things in the past.

I didn't write any vows. I've been trying to for a month, but I couldn't. So I started to wonder why that was. And as time went on it only got worse - because I'm, because I'm not good at letting go. Or maybe I'm afraid of what'll happen if I fail. But I know one thing. I would've never been able to write anything as beautiful as what you just said. And last night, Sarah, when you were talking about the accident - you got it all wrong. I didn't fix you. You fixed me. I love you, Sarah, and I always will.

Until the past starts catching up.

iPod - it hasn't got a cool name like neh neh


Prior to my entry on my wish for a new iPod, I really didn't know anything about Steve Jobs having a special announcement. The Apple Special Event held at San Jose unveiled things like the new iMac G5, new iTunes 7 and ohmygod the new iPod. It wasn't named the iPod Neh Neh like I thought it might. What this means is that all future iPod will have the capability to play videos. And it's $728. It is so affordable for a nice present to reward yourself this Christmas. And Christmas might be early this year. Like October early, November early. What kind of marketing plan is this? My take is that Apple has tested the market so thoroughly that they know we (slaves to consumerism) take about 2 months to get to the "tipping point" (refer to Morton Grodzins popularised by Malcom Gladwell) before all hell breaks loose in the weekend leading to X'mas. Remember the mad rush for iPod Photo?


Get set.



Well well, I guess my version (people are complaining on my flickr comment page about how lousy and botched my iPod rendition is. I should've corrected the guy's spelling. Bodge??) is closer to the actual yeah?

Tadah! My vision compared to Steve and Jonathan's.....

it's closer compared to Mobile Magazine's:


To all those who have gotten their iPod Nano, there's really no need to compare cause apple was out to capture every single market anyway and Nano is really about portability and size. But I have one thing to say - Nyeh Nyeh Nee Boo Boo.

hahahahahaha.....(laughter trails off)

Life will find a way

I titled this entry with a quote from jurassic park.

I cannot remember which one it was. But I remember that line well.

I thought the line was very beautiful and hopeful.

I also remember the 7 ancient world wonders.

I can't name them all without help.

I can remember one of them is the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, 50km south of modern fay Baghdad, Iraq, on the east bank of River Euphrates.

I can never see it cause it's no longer in existence.

I know there is one in Saint George where I live.

I can prove it.

hanging garden

Life will find a way.

iPod - how to make a good thing better

I was thinking about the new developments of iPod and how Steve Jobs has managed to almost capture every single market available and making collectors out of iPod fans.

There was the initial iPod, iPod with touch wheel and 4 buttons on top, iPod with click wheel, iPod mini, iPod Shuffle, iPod Photo, iPod Nano, the iPod Flea....what did I miss? From disk base to flash's everywhere, own by so many people that it's such a faux pas to wear the original apple earphone. The ubiquitous iPod and the series spawned since no longer has that "alternative" appeal that once shrouded the owners of apple products. It is no wonder that hackers are getting into the act of creating virus for the Mac OS. Read Wil Shipley hubristic blog entry on Mac OS...especially the comments.

Anyhow.....I was thinking about my own Royal Gala II - an iPod Photo with 60gb capacity.
iPod normal
How do you make a good thing better? I have no doubt the people at apple are more than capable of turning out something cooler before X'mas but do they really want to? I doubt it. They would want to milk the iPod Nano cow first before launching an all new improved iPod...

Here's what I think it should be headed...personally...

1) iPod with mpeg playback
Imagine iPod with iTunes as well as Quicktime! We will not have to suffer with a paltry 13 square centimetre screen of brilliant resolution and colour. Of course the size of the iPod shouldn't grow else it would look ridiculously clumsy like Sony's PSP. Actually, some people don't mind the size of the PSP. Oh well...go figure.

I would like to see the screen bigger though...hard to maintain a cinematic 16:9 screen and the click wheel will surely have to be reduced.
Hence instead of the current configuration and look...
iPod Photo
it might end up looking more like a PDA...(very lousy editing skills...I am using Powerpoint on a Mac okie)
iPod WMD
I christened this creature the iPod WMD - Wonderous Multimedia Device. I'm being silly of course. Steve Jobs and Jonathan Ive will never make something so ugly and Frankensteinesque. It wouldn't be called WMD for sensitive reasons. It'll probably have a cooler name like iPod Neh Neh or iPod - The One or someshitlikethat. Actually, bored people (but ingenious nonetheless) have already used the iPod Photo to watch movie clips. But it's more suited for really short clips that don't require sound, like porn or Mr Bean. I'm not the only person wishing this up. Check this out: iPod Movie

2) iPod with built-in recorder
The technology is already there. It's just that the people at apple don't want to have a begger-thy-neighbour business plan unlike Creative, iRiver, etc...So they get Griffin, Belkin and a host of affiliates to make these voice recording device for them....So what happens to iPod owners who want to record voice memos and whatever raunchy noises you fancy recording? They get things like the iTalk. Which although not unpleasant looking...still cost $$ and does stick out alot and spoil the look.
iPod with iTalk
Notice how it sticks out. And with the iPod 60gb, the iTalk no longer flushes with the iPod because the iPod is a few millimetres thicker. Hmph! So really, a built-in recording function would be great. And please, give us a better quality 8KHz, 16 bit mono WAV files that goobles 1mb for every 1 minute is too limited. I don't mind recording them as WAV files as they are better for editing but these days, softwares for editing mp3s are really commonplace. So maybe that would work.

3) iPod with camera
There is already the very useful camera connector which I bought for my Spain trip earlier this year because I reckoned that instead of buying another expensive compact flash card, I can rely on my 256mb CF card with my camera's original Olympus 32mb xd card. So the xd card can be for those Kodak moments when my CF card is full otherwise I can leisurely upload the pics in the CF card into my iPod. Which was exactly what I had done in Spain.
iPod with camera connector
So imagine having an external lens-like thing to take pictures with. This is already available for PDAs so why not iPods? Then you can view the pictures on the iPod On-The-Go with your travel-partner! Fun! And anytime you wanna snap a picture but forgot your camera because it is bulky and sitting at home, just whip out the iPod camera attachment (probably called something like iSnap - angry sounding or iPic or iClick) and wa la! A camera On-The-Go!

4) iPod with nicer remote
Admit it. The current remote control that apple has pales in the comparison to the iPod. It's gotta be slicker and more appealing to the eye. Notice that not many people actually use the remote? In fact, the remote has long not been bundled along with the iPod. And better earphones by the way. And don't be cheap, give us the dock connector! And why the cop out? Why switch to USB? I love the firewire!

5) iPod - Industrial Strength
Despite the look, an iPod can actually withstand tremendous punishment. Even the filmsy Nano can withstand getting run over by a car! Proven! But what would be really great would be a tougher iPod. One that is scratch-resistant, even for the screen and the chromed backplate. Industrial strength should include characteristics like a longer battery life of at least 24hrs and also, make changing batteries available to the whole world godamit!

There. I have finished my little wish list on how the iPod - currently an mp3 player, jpg files storer, .wav files recorded and cultural icon can be made into a better monster...

If not, why shouldn't everyone get a Creative Zen Vision instead?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


It should come as no surprise that some smart alec will eventually come up with a "best of both worlds" type of search engine. Incorporating the two most used search engines (my opinion, in a humble manner of course) into one single website.

May I present to you.................


So what this website does is that when you searching for some nuggets of information, the website will tap into Google as well as Yahoo! to bring you results in a split page format. Like this:

In the above example I was searching for gahooyoogle.
And if you are just like me, wondering if there is a, well, there isn't. Yet.

I found this out through sailor's log who found it through


Tuesday, October 11, 2005

In the mood for Underworld

Ever so often, I find myself "back in the days".
When the rest of the world (boys in boys school took a slight view of the rest outside the school fence) was listening to Axl Rose and co., Red Hot Chilli Peppers and U2, Pixel-P and I were weaned on Portishead and Underworld.

Choose life. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electric tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit and arrange the fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wonder where the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch, watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable hole, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats that you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life.

But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life.

I chose something else.

And the reasons?

There are no reasons.

Who needs reasons when you've got heroin.

Drive boy, dog boy Dirty numb angel boy In the doorway boy She was a lipstick boy She was a beautiful boy And tears boy And all in your innerspace boy You had hands girl boy And steel boy You had chemicals boy I've grown so close to you Boy and you just groan boy She said comeover comeover She smiled at you boy Drive boy dog boy Dirty numb angel boy In the doorway boy She was a lipstick boy She was a beautiful boy And tears boy And all in your innerspace boy You had Hands girl boy And steel boy You had chemicals boy I've grown so close to you Boy and you just groan boy She said comeover comeover She smiled at you boy.

Let your feelings slip boy But never your mask boy Random blonde bio high density rhythm Blonde boy blonde country blonde high density You are my drug boy You're real boy Speak to me and boy dog Dirty numb cracking boy You get wet boy Big big time boy Acid bear boy Babes and babes and babes and babes and babes And remembering nothing boy You like my tin horn boy and get Wet like an angel


You got a velvet mouth You're so succulent and beautiful Shimmering and dirty Wonderful and hot times On your telephone line And god and everything On your telephone And in walk an angel And look at me your mom Squatting pissed in a tube-hole at Tottenham Court Road I just come out of the ship Talking to the most Blonde I ever met Shouting Lager lager lager lager Shouting Lager lager lager lager
Shouting... Lager lager lager Shouting Mega mega white thing Mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing Mega mega Shouting lager lager lager lager Mega mega white thing Mega mega white thing So many things to see and do In the tube hole true Blonde going back to Romford Mega mega mega going back to Romford Hi mom are you having fun And now are you on your way

To a new tension headache

So why did I do it?

I could offer a million answers, all false.

The truth is I'm a bad person. But that's going to change. I'm going to change.
This is the last of that sort of thing. I'm cleaning up and moving on. Going straight and choosing life.

I'm looking forward to it already. I'm going to be just like you.
The job.
The family.
The fucking big television. The washing machine. The car. The compact disc and electric tin opener. Good health. Low cholesterol. Dental insurance. Mortgage. Starter home. Leisure wear. Luggage. Three-piece suite. DIY. Game shows. Junk food. Children. Walks in the park. Nine to Five. Good at golf. Washing the car. Family Christmas. Index pension. Tax exemption. Clearing gutters.

Getting by.

Looking ahead to the day you die.

Dirty Dirty Dirty

Sometimes when you are in a squalor and nothing seems to be uplifting......and as the words of billie joe armstrong "when masturbation's lost it's fun you're fucking breaking" describes your day....

think Dirty Dirty Dirty!

Sweet in winter
Sweet in rain
Shake well before use she said
You never touch me anymore this way

Connector in
Receiver out

You let me in through the back door

Ride the sainted rhythms on the midnight train to Romford
Ride the sainted rhythms

Sweet in winter
Sweet in rain
Shake well before use she said.
you never touch me anymore this way - oh no

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You're a

I'm so dirty

And the light blinds my eyes

You're oh-so-dirty

And the light it blinds my eyes.
Here comes Christ on crutches.

Call me wet trampoline she said today
Well i was too busy with my hand.

Shake well before use she said
But you never touch me anymore.

I was busy listening for phone sex

Coming through the back door in skin-tight trunks
And we all went mental......

And danced

I get my kicks on channel six
I get my kicks on channel six
To the off-peak......electricity
And the light blinds my eyes

And I feel dirty

And the light blinds my eyes
And I in my faith
Here comes Christ on crutches

And here comes another god
Here comes another god like a buffalo thunder
wWh a...smell of sugar...and a velvet tongue...and designer voodoo
And I got phone sex to see me through the emptiness in my 501s

Freeze-dried with a new religion and my teeth stuffed back in my head

I get my kicks on channel six
The light it burns my eyes and I feel so dirty
Here comes Christ on crutches.
I will not be confused
Will not be confused

They left me confused

I will not be confused.....with another man
This pressure of opinions

Lighten up

Listen to your eyes, you said
But all i could see was doris day in a big screen satellite disappearing down the tube hole on Farringdon street with whiplash willy the motor psycho

And the light it burns my eyes
And the light it burns my eyes

I get my kicks on channel six

~ Dirty by Underworld

Monday, October 10, 2005

Mental notes

Interesting questions to ask yourself while watching paint dry.

Where is the Geographical Origin of Coordinates of Singapore?

Why is Singapore in the "wrong" time zone?

Image used without permission from

self censorship is the worst type of censorship

I have decided to amend one of my entries because a colleague of mine saw it and was sharing it with the rest this morning. So I decided to change the appointments to something else. It's ok if this entry doesn't make any sense to you at all.

Hello Lup Sup Lum!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Sunday is ending

Another couple of minutes and the weekend will finally be over.

I gotta weird feeling I really need to take stock of my life.

I'm 26 going on 27. I no longer feel the "quarter-life" crisis as much as a year ago. Is it cause I am getting mellow or is it just jaded?

I still can drive a car. Maybe I should just stick to learning to drive an auto. Should I even get a car? Should I even need a license?

Should I continue to stay in this organisation after my bond is finished?
Or should I start preparing for a transit?
What can I do after 6 years in the navy?
Am I going to make it as a __________________ (fill in the blank with appropriate occupation)?
Is there life after being somebody and having nothing come close?

Why isn't my bank account growing like it is suppose to be? Why can't I have the discipline to keep money away from the multiplier effect of the economy?

Why can't I decide should I stay at home and continue to live with my parents or should I just pack my bags and rent a place on my own. What should I pack? How many rooms should it have. Where should it be?

At the end of the year, on 31st December, I am going to ask myself again, with minutes to spare until 2006 arrives, all these questions. How many will be answered by then?

Will I still remember?

A suicide bomber and his 72 vestal virgins

There was this special article in Guardian couple of years back and I am glad I found it online. It was about rewarding Muslim martyrs with virgins and other sensual pleasures upon reaching paradise.

I wonder how much they believe in this. By "they", I mean the suicide bomber or anyone who believes enough that their action is according to what is decreed in the Koran. By "this" I refer to the sensual reward of 72 vestal virgins. But martyrs make the distinction that they are not suicide bombers but shahid.

judging by the number of suicide bombers shahids, it must be an orgy up there by now. The three Bali bombers should be having a fun time with a total of 216 virgins.


Very wow.

But according to the Guardian report, the translations may not have been accurate due to the varying languages that were used. Syriac (an Aramaic dialect - yes, the Aramaic in the Mel Gibson movie, The Passion of Christ) and Arabic was confused. So the word for doe-eyed virgins may have been confused with white raisins understood implicitly as chilled drinks. Imagine the suicide bombers shahids passing through the gates and waiting for their virginal Siti, Fatimah, Rashidah, Aisha, Saleema...I am sure some will have the same name so we might have Fatimah 1, 2 and 3? But instead all they find is cool drink? They would be so disappointed. Must be feeling cheated. Actually I think the more wicked thing would be to have 72 vestal male virgins waiting for the suicide bombers shahids, queueing up to sodomise him 72 times.

Modern apologists of Islam try to downplay the evident materialism and sexual implications of such descriptions, but, as the Encyclopaedia of Islam says, even orthodox Muslim theologians such as al Ghazali (died 1111 CE) and Al-Ash'ari (died 935 CE) have "admitted sensual pleasures into paradise". The sensual pleasures are graphically elaborated by Al-Suyuti (died 1505 ), Koranic commentator and polymath. He wrote: "Each time we sleep with a houri we find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation that you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one [ie Muslim] will marry seventy [sic] houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetising vaginas."

Haha, penis of the Elected never softens.
Beat that Kenny Sia and Rockson Tan!

I think that the cause of fainting is because after being sodomised 72'll either be needing stitches or sanitary pads to staunch the bleeding.

Shit. Is this seditious?

When will they stop - 3

There is yet another dead Singaporean with unclaimed wealth in Nigeria. His surname is once again, Pang. I have decided not to ask my dad how come so many dead Pangs are in Nigeria and how come we are not rich.

Maybe it's because,

1) My dad doesn't work for Shell Company.
2) My dad has never been to Nigeria
3) My dad does not have fancy christian name on his passport like Allan and David.
4) He is my dad.

Anyhow, this will be the last time I post such an entry. They are starting to bore me and pretty soon, irate.


Dear Pang,

I am Barrister JOHN OKAFOR a solicitor at law and personal/family
attorney to Mr David Pang,who was the Chief Operations Manager,with Shell Oil
development company in Nigeria herein shall be referred to as "my client". (my ass)
On the 21st of April 2000, my client his wife and their three children
travelled to their home country and were involved in a fatal accident and everybody died.
Ever since then, I have made several enquries to your
embassy to locate any of my client's extended relatives but this has
also proved unsucessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to track his last
name over the internet to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.
My client left lots of money in the bank here.About $18.5 million dollars
USD is left in his name in UNION BANK here in Nigeria. I have contacted you
that bears this surname to reparate his money before they get confiscated
since there is a government gazette/circular mandating/ authorizing banks to
place on hold or freeze any account containing huge sums of money that has
been unserviceable for a reasonable period of time.

This is geared towards forestalling capital flight from the economy. Prior
to the execution of this directive, I decided to mail you to stand as the
next of kin to my client so as to claim the money. I am now soliciting for
your assistance/co-operation in approaching the bank to sign-off and claim
this fund from the Bank since your surname is the same as my client's surname.
Upon your readiness to signoff and claim the fund as the next of kin
of the deceased to have the same last name so that the proceeds of this
account valued at $18.5 Million dollarsUSD can be paid to you. You will
get 25% share of the money, 65% Will be for me and some of the officials of the
bank and 10% for legalpapers and other expences to be incured during the

I will forward to you the necessary documents to enable you make
adequate claim over the funds and have access to it.I will also forward to you
the contact details of the bank and the officer to contact so as to avoid the
accumulation of much demurrage on the deposited Money from the Bank.
Please reach me immediately, indicating your interest concerning this
transaction. And send your Tel and Fax numbers so we can communicate more easily and
I can brief you more.You should please reply my mail to my chambers Mail
address which is Your soonest response is anticipated.

God bless you and Best Regards. (Repent!)


The Wind In The Willows

Sometimes I wish it was Sunday morning 18 years ago again.

I will wake up early and be ready for Kenneth Grahame's The Wind In The Willows - stop motion series.

Then I will hum along to the theme music....

The Wind in the Willows
Sang softly to me
Follow my voice
Wherever it leads

Through mountains and valleys
And deep rolling seas
Born on the wings of the breeze

Spin me a dream
Woven silver and gold
Of sunshine and shadows
And days long ago

Where people are memories
And stories unfold
Willows, the tales you have told me

Wind in the Willows
You just seem to know
Who you can turn to
And which way to go
To unwind your wondrous mind

Wind in the Willows
Take me home.

Stanley Kwan

Had a mini Stanley Kwan film fest this evening.

Watched Lan Yu followed by Everlasting Regret.

Lan Yu won 5 Golden Horse Awards including Best Actor, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay in 2001. It was the opening film for Cannes Un Certain Regard that year.

Everlasting Regret just won the open prize at the Venice Film Fest this year.

Lan Yu was banned in Singapore after a brief run during Singapore Film Fest 2003. The movie features a gay couple. No wonder. It is now being shown exclusively at Lido, a bold step forward for local cinema. Sure there were scenes cut, but the story was still intact.

Everlasting Regret premiered not too long ago at the Venice Film Fest and stars Tony Leung and Sammi Cheng. Tony Leung is so good in this movie that I finally realise why he has talent.

i remember fantasising about Stanley Kwan making an Asian movie version of Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro if there ever was going to be one. Him or Lee Ang. Lee Ang recently won the Best Director Award at the Venice Film Fest for Brokeback Mountain. I completely stand by my choice of directors. And the lead characters of Zhang Ziyi, Angelica Lee and Daniel Wu remains.

Stanley Kwan's movies are such intricate set pieces. He's fondness of using mirrors in movies can be seen over and over again in this movie. It's not cliched but necessary because it is his effort to show the entire setting while capturing the emotions of the actors in the film. He frames the people in door frames, window frames, plumes of smoke from the cigarette and at times an extremely fast-paced editing that cuts to the person's face it's almost like a buildup.

And the way he showcases love in both the movies is just amazing. Lan Yu has a similar characteristic as Never Let Me Go. It is that the setting and context is secondary. What is most important is the character development as the story unfolds. The gay couple in Lany Yu can be replaced by a heterosexual couple and still it would be a good story. But of course, them being gay added alot of frills. Similar to Never Let Me Go. The characters in the book may be growing up in any place and still the emotions felt by them should be universal.

Lan Yu and Everlasting Regret share a common observation. That love is not about ownership. Love is not about spending the rest of your lives together. Love is not about binding contracts that is recognised by society at large. If these were true, the story would have been serialised as a Korean Drama featuring lots of bespectacled korean men with highlighted hair and sad looking eyes. Not forgetting an accompanying piano soundtrack.

In the two movies, love is about respect. Love is about selflessness and unconditionality. Love is about a lifetime's association and not wanting any control.

For example, in Lan Yu, the money paid to the young lad for sexual services were all kept by him. He never thought of their relationship as that of a client and a prostitute. In Everlasting Regret, Tony Leung's character never did look down on Sammi Cheng despite her coquettish manners although he angrily told her off once. All the couples genuinely in love never did get together formally and were parted only by death. Not once did any party control another and their relationships maintained because of distance as opposed to familiarity.

Are we like the characters in the novels retold by Stanley Kwan? I think we are not. That's because we have stereotyped love and the love told in the story is so un-hollywood that we might not recognise them.

In Lan Yu, the question that begs to be asked is how religious groups view same-gender relationships. What good is a forced (false) heterosexual relationship when they are borne of falsehood or as a result of conforming to social norms. The fact that they are homosexuals can be incidental. Any relationship that is forced together by expectations will not work. So what if both are of the same sex? I bet there must be a million reasons why a homosexual relationship is wrong but the one single reason of two being in love should be sufficient to convince me that they belong together.

In Everlasting Regret, I find that Tony Leung's devotion to Sammi Cheng is the type that we all wish we can have. But it is also the type that we may never know we have until death.

I am going to be on the lookout for Stanley Kwan's movie.