Wist

If there is anything I appreciate in a person, more so than their frightening good looks, shameless wealth, awfully good dressing, it would be their taste in music wit.

You see, wit is something that you cannot surgically enhance. You can't let a fun(d) manager take charge and help you grow some. It's not about a walk-in wardrobe chockful of expensive designer togs which everyone else can max their credit cards out on.

Wit can compensate. Wit can hide that pimple at the end of your nose. And it's only a pimple, it will go away, the person asking about it is stuck with his/her face. Wit can wipe the oily shine off your forehead. Wit can generate intellectual wealth for you and make paupers out of the rich. Wit cannot clothe you but it sure can let you spill the beans on the emperor's new clothes without saying the words "naked", "nude" or "naturel". Wit can let you get back at the fat bitch who queries if you're serving pork at the dinner party - just reply, "Which end of the fork?".

And that is why I think Boris Johnson should be the next Mayor of London. He is the classic eccentric, esoteric, polymath-ematics wit that should head a city like London.