Toxins - Or why must smokers shit while smoking

It is quite unbearable at times to be in a toilet cubicle that was just visited by a smoker. It's not the stench from the solid waste that was flushed away. It's the cindery and smell of ash that will continue to linger. Especially in toilets that have poor or non-existent ventilation.

I have this theory about toxins and why smokers need to shit after smoking or smoke while they shit etc etc...smokers who've been through national service might tell you that when outfield, the smoke drives away the mossies which might otherwise suck their blood (what else?).

Basically our bodies doesn't like stimulants or too much undesired inputs. I shall call these toxins. What makes our bodies such a wonderful frontline guard against toxins never fail to make me think our creation cannot be a collision of coincidences.

Most obvious example will be sweat. Too much heat we will sweat to get rid of the heat "toxins". Basically in this case, "toxins" mean stimulant.

Let's take fear. When we are watching a horror movie, what do we do? We cover our ears and shut our eyes. Unless you are the perverted or just enjoy such aural and visual maltreatments, that would the normal reaction. Basically what the body is trying to do is to limit the intake of the toxins.

What happens when there is a loud clap of thunder? We cover our ears too right? What happens when we are irritated by pollen and dust? Our body expels these toxins by sneezing. When it is damn smelly - we pinch our noses.

Another fine example is crying. When we are emotionally stressed, our body produces a hormone (found in larger quantities in female compared to males) called prolactin. How does the body rids itself of this toxin? Well, we cannot pee it out or sweat it off, so we cry. And tears (certain type of crying, definitely not tears of joy) contain large amount of prolactin.

And of course there is the usual biology student's ongoing about how our body produces anti-bodies etc etc....

Hence this leads me to conclude that alcohol is also a toxin (hur hur) cause it makes us want to pee. Yeah I know it's the anti-diuretic hormone thing but this fits into my theory too right?

Finally to the reason why smoking leads to a need to pass motion. Simple. Cigarette smoke is of course a toxin. Hence how our body gets rid of it? Well, because it's so darn difficult to get rid of it ("it" being the cigarette smoke) the body tries to clear as much toxins as possible to create capacity. Notice that while smoking, phlegm production goes into overdrive as well? That's another way of ridding toxins.

So to push this theory even further. The egg that females produces is toxic too. And once every 28 days or so, the body can't take it no more and needs to get rid of it. It's all fair cause males need ridding of similar stuff. It's called sperm and even that needs to be purge every once in a while (guffaws).

Even further still....milk production in the mammary glands of newly minted mums. While, the milk may or may not be right....I don't know enough actually.

Furtherest I can stretch is...........babies! They must be the ultimate toxin. Cause they are parasitic (apart from enhancing food craves and boob sizes), grows in size and distorts the carrier's body, mood, appearance, self-esteem etc etc.....and imagine the pain of getting rid of this toxin that will be present for 9 months of so.....sigh....