Guys and relationships

It was in a short while ago when I observed certain things in guys and relationships.

And in today's papers, an article titled Quickie Marriages seems to bring this point across.

This guy, Richard, wanted out of his marriage within a year of marrying his secondary school sweetheart, Sandra. They had a 9-year relationship which had its ups and downs but nevertheless, the guy decided to get married because of the time together and out of convenience; he did not want to go through the whole process of courtship all over again.

In one of the episodes entitled Hearts and Minds in the ABC tv series, Lost, one of the characters, Boone, was given some hallucinogen by Locke. Boone had an on/off incestuous with his sister Shannon. During Boone's massive acid trip, he saw his sister dead. After confronting Locke, Boone said he felt relieved when she Shannon died.

Relieved.

Boone

What made me see? That stuff you put on my head. . . you drugged me.

Locke

I gave you an experience that I believe was vital to your survival on this island.

Boone

It wasn't real?

Locke

It was only as real as you made it.

Boone

I saw her die.

Locke

How did you feel? When she died?

Boone

I felt. . . I felt. . . I felt relieved. I felt relieved.

Locke

Yes. Time to let go.

So what did Richard in the newspaper article do when he wanted to get rid of his wife? He deliberately gave her the cold shoulder, responding with only monosyllables when she wanted to chat.

......I was trying to make her hate me so it would be easier to suggest the idea of divorce......

I think the episode in Lost portrayed a male trapped in a situation of love and despair rather well. I don't think males have evolved to the stage where they are hardwired to be decisive when it comes to relationship matters. Boone knew he was in a disadvantageous position with Shannon but could not lift himself out of the limbo. It was only through her "death" that he found relief. Richard, who did not want to be the "bad" guy to initiate a divorce was so destructive that he left himself no room when the eventual break down happens.

I think all guys in a relationship should have the experience that Boone had. I don't mean that you have to take drugs, it's not exactly by all means necessary. Not everyone will see their partners die of course. This way, it will prevent alot of Richards in this world from causing such massive hurt to the potential Sandras out there.