I can't learn to say "no"

Was reading Kenny Sia's blog on him wanting to go back to Perth.

It wasn't the strange coincidence of him wanting to go back to Perth and the Djinn's movie that I caught recently that made me write this.

It is actually a series of events that led to this.

V's cousin broke up recently. Recently in the real world but i suppose in the blogosphere and internet in general, it was long enough for accusations and slanders to be hurled around. A dying relationship is a very sorry sight. it is even more ugly when things thing sour. and when it happens between two immature adults, issues turn putrid faster than day-old milk left in the sun.

which led me to tell v how guys in general do not know when to say "no". when to stop. when to admit defeat.

i'd better not use the pronoun "we" because it's not applicable to all guys.

maybe i speak from experience, maybe i speak from observations. in both cases, when a couple breaks up, the guy seems to be the half taking time to recover and continue with life.

we seem reluctant to give up on a relationship. as if it reflects in part, failure in certain aspects of our life. i'd like to think that perhaps in a way, it is only human nature to not want to change, however inevitable it may be.

and some will resort pressurising the other half to initiate instead. perhaps to feel less of the guilt involve for ending a rapidly declining emotional bond.

some guys are perverse in nature. not in the pornographic manner. but in their belief of the tortured romance in being out of love. some resort to different forms of self-destruction like drinking, smoking, self-multilation etc etc

there is nothing wrong in the valiant attempts to preserve something beautiful or even to revive a lost cause. but when it is in the way of moving forward, growing up, being happy, there should be a time when we decide to stop.

long distance relationships must be hard to maintain. it's not too hard to push a fragile long distance relationship over the precipice into a downward spiral of misplaced trust and blind faith.

relationships, "short distance" ones are the same. physical distance exerts a definite pressure but time does the same thing. how do you keep love burning like a candle and not suffer the fate of a firework, to explode in a colourful display of sound and light as the plume of smokey trail fades. I borrow loosely a quote from Ridley Scott's Blade Runner:

a candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long

i start remembering ryan adam's how do you keep love alive