Conspiracy II

Conspiralling Out Of Control

Continuing from further consipiral (haha...nosuchword) thoughts.... - see here, there and everywhere.

****warning****

super long and boring entry.
not recommended for those into fluff, hello kitties and internet porn.

****warning****

A Dull Bulb In A Dark Spot

Back from sailing jaunts (non-leisure in nature) into Malacca Strait and perhaps clouded by the haze that draped the funnel-shaped strait that transports 25% of the world's shipping and oil, with as many as 500,000 thousand merchant ships passing through annually.

Malacca Strait has often been compared to be of equal significance to the Suez and Panama Canals but there is a significant difference.

$$$TOLLS$$$

There are toll calculators for both canals. Here for Panama Canal and Suez Canal can be found here.

Malacca Strait shaves thousands of nautical miles off from a voyage between three of the most populous nations in the world; India, Indonesia and China. It is the main highway between Japan (second largest economy in the world) and the middle east (largest producer of an important economy driver: crude) and will increase over the coming years in volume of crude transported as China continue to boom... The alternate route south of Sumatra is just too much of a hassle, despite the rampant piracy in the Malacca Strait. The risk, after calculation, is justifiable.

Isthmus Of Kra - Regional Arch Nemesis

There is an option, to shave even more nautical miles, hence hours, which means voyage cost, which leads to higher profits (potentially) off in the journey from East (middle east, far east, orient etc etc) to the West (blah blah blah). The opening of a canal at the Isthmus of Kra.

For those who are vocabulary-ly-challanged, an isthmus is a narrow strip of land between two coast.

The Conspiracy

Ok, now for the conspiracy bits. It's a little known fact (ok, not that I know little known facts but, heck, you ask 10 Singaporeans along Orchard, 9.5 of them will not know where Isthmus of Kra is) but in 1897, the rulers (as in Kings, not the stationery) of Thailand and the British Empire decided against the idea of opening up a canal so as to safeguard Singapore and the harbour/port facilities. Thus ensuring that Singapore continue to thrive and prosper from a "sleepy fishing village" into a "cosmopolitant city of the future" within such a short time.

Furthering the conspiracy, if toll fees were to be collected by Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia, who are kinda "co-own" the International Strait (Malacca Strait and Singapore Strait) - refers to any strait that connects two high seas - ok, definitions like these can go on forever. Find out more from here, this will surely provide the impetus for Thailand to start the Kra Canal project and *gasp* collect majority of the toll as voyages will be more economical through the canal.

Filmsy Conclusion

Hence we can establish from this filmsy argument that 1) Malacca Strait will be a toll-free strait otherwise Thailand will join in the foray and snatch majority of the toll (but actually talks are underway for such "pay-as-you-go schemes). 2) Co-owners of the International Strait will try their best not to let Thailand build the canal as it will divert traffic away from their harbours/ports.

There are spin offs to this conspiracy. Like why major world powers will always want a piece of the action in Malacca Strait (which explains why despite the drop in piracy incidents, it remains classified as a "war zone" in Lloyds and therefore demand higher insurance premiums for shipping) and because of the importance of a trouble-free Malacca Strait, the US Navy, Chinese Navy, Indian Navy, French Navy, Japanese Navy etc etc all want to have a presence. Hence the classification of a high risk area justifies their presence.

Idle Minds Are The Devil's Workshop

Now for the murky bits. Having a canal through Kra will divide the restive muslim majority south in Thailand (Pattani etc) and erect a physical boundary. This will provide even greater reason for separation in south Thailand. Hence in order to provide greater resistance to building of the canal, there are reasons for "individuals/corporations/institutions" to support the muslim rebels to create tension so that the Thai government will be reluctant to build the canal. Piracy in the region will also allow presence of "foreign" forces with vested interest, using "concern for international trade" as a front for their local presence. So.....piracy is also generated for their continued presence?

Lesson of the day

Never teach your father how to fuck.

Just back from sailing. Bio-clock a little bit too fucked to sleep. But too tired to stay awake too.

A few thoughts running through my mind.

If the thai military thought that the thai government (voted into power democractically) under thaksin was growing more and more democratic, was a military coup any more democractic? And what about the interim PM and government that would be put in place? the claim was that the coup was supported by the people and the king. so what options did they have? civilian protests are now outlawed as are any political activity. and this is done to prevent a further slide in democracy?

when I first found out about this coup (minutes after getting my tiger airways tickets to phuket) and shared with a friend, he said he expected it. not me, i always thought the coup was an act of desperation, whether or not the market talk/rumour states that the coup was boiling since the bomb plot was uncovered.

So now that endorsements are given (did the king have a choice?), how should the other democratic governments around the region react/respond? should they recognise this government put into power by the military?

To absent friends.....

Those who watched Master and Commander (with the hooligan from OZ - Russell Crowe) might remember this scene where a number of officers were having a dinner in the wardroom (naval officers' mess/dining room)and one of the toast was "To wives and sweethearts!" and Russell Crowe cheekily added "May they never meet!". Well, that line should have been said by the most junior officer (usually the youngest) present. But since not many people in the world know about such stuff - and those who do might not watch the movie - it was a mistake that nobody really complained about.

There is a toast for every day of the week.

Monday - To our ships at sea (which means that they are on shoreleave)
Tuesday - To our men
Wednesday - To ourselves (because no one else is likely to bother)
Thursday - To bloody war or sickly season (gain promotion from the death of others)
Friday - To willing foe and sea room (easy battles and no collision)
Saturday - To wives and sweethearts (may they never meet)
Sunday - To absent friends

And so today it is for absent friends.

I would suppose "absent friends" could mean friends who are dead (because of bloody war and sickly season?). Or perhaps it refers to friends who are out at sea (to our ships?).

Or perhaps friends whom we have lost touch with.

I missed Yugin's wedding on 9 Sep. I was on standby and there was no way I could have applied leave and pack for a trip to Brighton. Feel quite bad about it because as late as June I was still planning for it.

And there's no way I'm gonna miss Tommy's wedding come Christmas Day.

So I've already bought tickets and will be spending Christmas with V in Hong Kong!

What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart?

Previously I shared with you the youtube video.
Since then, I have not been able to find this album - Post War by M. Ward - anywhere in Singapore.
Well, Yeow Kai Chai has since reviewed it in Ass Tee Life! section....so where the hyell did he get his copy?



So what was it that made you fall in love?
A deadly spark that burst into flames or a gentle breeze that rekindled the embers?
A gossamer crimsoned? An inapproriate action? A teasing question?

And what was it that broke your heart?
A slow unravel caused by perfidiousness or a languish arising from misguided intentions.
Misplaced trust? Illusioned fronts? Or the delusion that all true love have a fairy tale ending?

Chinese Translation

I sailed a wild, wild sea
climbed up a tall, tall mountain
I met a old, old man
beneath a weeping willow tree
He said now if you got some questions
go and lay them at my feet
but my time here is brief
so you'll have to pick just three

And I said
What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart?
And how can a man like me remain in the light?
And if life is really as short as they say
then why is the night so long?
And then the sun went down
and he sang for me this song

See I once was a young fool like you
afraid to do the things
that I knew I had to do
So I played an escapade just like you
I played an escapade just like you
I sailed a wild, wild sea
climbed up a tall, tall mountain
I met an old, old man
he sat beneath a sapling tree
He said now if you got some questions
go and lay them at my feet
but my time here is brief
so you'll have to pick just three

And I said
What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart?
And how can a man like me remain in the light?
And if life is really as short as they say
then why is the night so long?
And then the sun went down
and he played for me this song

M. Ward

some ting long with feed

The http://*.blogspot.com/atom.xml Atom feeds are returning an “Invalid request URI” error. A temporary workaround until we fix this is to use the http://*.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/full URL.

So for this blog it would be http://littlefish.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/full

Miami Wice

I caught the movie together with some friends.

I can't say it's bad. Cause it wasn't.

I should add that I really liked Collateral.

Well, firstly, the cinema wasn't too cold. Which was great. But then the sound was kinda muted. Which, for an action show, just won't do. There were instances when I thought it was really odd. Like during explosions. No impact. Nothing. Maybe it's that particular hall at Plaza Sing.

Secondly, was the choice of soundtrack for the movie. Michael Mann is clearly a fan of Audioslave. The movie featured quite a number of tracks from that band. But sometimes the music just don't seem to fit the mood of the scene. Like, do you really wanna have Chris Cornell (lead singer of Audioslave, formerly of Sound Garden if my memory serves me well enough) wailing while you are having passionate sex??

Then there is the chemistry between Colin Farell and Gong Li. There isn't any. And a number of times, Colin seems to be showing this puzzled look on his face. My guess is that he can't quite understand what Gong Li is saying.

Finally there is that weird editing. It was like quite jerky at some point. Can't really be sure if it was because of censorship.

There was a funny bit that V picked up. One of the bad guys (well, if drug dealing = bad deed) named Jose, did eventually become somewhat of a Jackson Pollock's creation when he was splattered against a cargo container.

All in all, not fun for the family. Can do without the vice.

It Amazes Me

My height ..... just average
My weight ..... just average
And my IQ is like you'd estimate, just average
But evidently she does not agree
Consequently, if I seem at sea .....

It amazes me
It simply amazes
What she sees in me
Dazzles me, dazes me
That I've learned to clip my wings
And soften my ways
These are ordinary things
Unworthy of praise
Yet she praises me
Just knowing I'd try for her
When so many would
If they could
Die for her
I'm the one who's worldly-wise
And nothing much fazes me
But to see me in her eyes
It just amazes me

*yawn* Yet another cover of the Postal Service's Such Great Heights

This is simply a riot. Does no justice to the song, unlike Iron and Wine but hell, Ben Folds seem to be having a great time in the studio.

The instrumentation was done using "stuff" found lying around the studio, except maybe the piano.

Stay right to the end. There's a bit of improv there.

New Look!!!

Since I have beta-rised my blog, I decided that a cleaner look should be adopted.
Less colour perhaps, so that if there should be any pictures they will stand out better.

Hopefully better organised.

Neat freak.

*if anyone is interested in the sidebar and is wondering what those weird little dots mean - you're reading too much into everything.

..::.:..::.:....::...!!!!! hahahahaha

Beta Blogger

The silly thing with Beta Blogger is that....it's shitty when not everyone else is on it. I can't comment on blogs that aren't beta-rised!

The Coup D'eThai - I swear this is true

I might have told many about my plans to head up to Phuket next month. It's the Phuket Vegetarian Festival. I was hoping this will be the first of my many photo trips around the region.

So merrily I went about purchasing my tickets from Tiger Airways.

I got my tickets confirmed at 23:14H. Guess what time was did Thailand went into a State of Emergency? 22:20G which equals to 23:20H (Singapore time).

WHAT THE F*^&@$!!!!

This is totally unacceptable! Why wasn't I warned? The only consolation is that I almost booked my resort hotel as well.....now I'm in a dilemma. Should I just wait for the exchange rates to go down further before I book my resort? But if I remember correctly, the actual deduction is when I pay for it when I check out. So it doesn't make much of a difference. Only difference is significant if I pay everything by cash. Which will probably be best if I carry lotsa Singapore dollars and change them in Phuket into baht. Hmm....idea.

Actually when I was informing all and sundry on my limited msn list who were online, the first thought that came to mind was that this is an act of desperation that had been boiling. Immediately following was, "What would the King do?" This will be crucial in the next few stages as martial law is put in place.

Here's a great blow by blow update by cowboy caleb. Ironically, it was his blog I first came to know about the coup as he is in Pattaya at the moment. Staying at the same hotel I was in when I was there in July no less.

A current wikipedia entry of the coup can be found here. Long Live wiki sites! Long live blogging!

Jolin Tsai and Chicken Fillets

I must admit that Jolin Tsai is a rather hot babe. I am saying this because I want to be seen as a hot-blooded heterosexual male. So Jolin is HOT!! Sizzling!

There was much talk about the size of her mammaries recently. They are reputed to be G cuppers. But Taiwanese bra cup sizes are different from Singapore's. The reason why I know so much is because I am a hot-blooded heterosexual male. Jolin is HOT!!. No, it wasn't V who told me so much.

Jolin gave a concert in Hong Kong recently and during that period, fellow label mate, Rainie Yang, joined her onstage to give her a birthday cake. It was her birthday. 15 Sep, Jolin turns 26.

Back to boobs. Because if I start on Rainie Yang, I'll gush over her. By boobs, I meant Jolin's. Rainie doesn't have much boobies.

It is supposed that Jolin wears pads under her bra to enchance her boobs. V calls them chicken fillets. I'm told that's a common name for bra paddings. Chicken fillets. I suppose the pads look like fillets.

Just take a look at the picture of Jolin (with white ribbons on head) above. Just check out her boobs. You know you want to. They really look like two pieces of hum cheem pang. Right. The shape.....just.....seems.....so......odd.

Now see this other picture of Jolin (with clothes). You check out her boobs (V is gonna kill me, but dearie, believe me, this is for a good and noble cause)! Notice how unnatural they look as you trace the curve from the armpit joint, above the mound, down the gentle slope to the guy's hand. It's either her boobs are really that oddly shaped or...her boobs are oddly shaped.

So V talks about chicken fillets.

I did a search for them online. And to my dismay and great horror, I found many versions of the Chicken Fillet.

The Raw

The Parboiled

The Golden Brown

The Burnt

Socks!

I decided to blog about them. I found my thoughts straying to these cottony/polyestery/woolley tubes during a meeting today. Weird. I know.

How do you wear your socks? With the seams inwards or outwards?

Well, if it's for comfort, surely the seams oughta be out. Cause most socks that I know have rough seams at the ends where the joint ends.

But why is it that most people will wear the seams inside? Because it looks nicer when they happen to take their shoes off?




Things would be much simpler if socks are all seamless.


Comfort. Any way out.





Sports socks, well, they kinda decided for you which way to wear them. The sports brand logo is usually the determining factor..






Sometime ago I blogged about these:

Toeless stockings. For open toe/ peep toe shoes or sandals.
Weird huh?

Girlfriend - Away

Girlfriend is gonna be away real soon. This is most probably the year when we see each other the least. It's pretty alright actually. Cause I've been kept busy onboard ship. She's gonna be away to Saigon and Jakarta in October and November respectively. Work has meant that she's gotta travel. Usually a trip will be made up of nice bits and not so nice bits. Aside from the Jakarta trip earlier this year, I've not been able to get any leave to travel with her.

We were out today and she's gotten herself a really pretty dress from MNG and a super sultry spaghetti top from Dutti. Haha - right. Sultry sounds bad. Make it, erm, sweet. Well, depends on how perverse you are. I've been telling her she should wear more dresses as she's got some height and they should look really pretty on her.

It's a rather unusual day because I heard two seldom played songs in Starbucks @Liat Towers and the Asics 360 shop @Wheelock. At the former it was the cover of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley and the latter, Gift of Gab remix of DJ Shadow's Midnight in a Perfect World.

We watched The Banquet yesterday. We kinda decided that Zhang Ziyi couldn't really pull off the Queen role. But our argument is this - that is exactly what the director wanted. This was a girl/woman, fuelled by ambition, awkwardly caught between decisions made by her head and her heart. Some might compare her with Gong Li, but seriously, Gong Li cannot do this role. She's 40 for (fill in your god)'s sake! Daniel Wu and Zhou Xun, they look great together. Suit their role well. Chang Chen will not be a good choice to replace Daniel Wu because, well, Chang Chen is too "man". Daniel Wu has this more refined appeal. The rest of the cast, well....nothing much to argue about.

I'd better make full use of the time while girlfriend is away. Previously when she was in HK, I used the time and energy on preparing my new role onboard ship, coming up with presentations, schedules and general whatnots.

You're fucked if you do and you're fucked if you don't

Singapore finds herself in "regrettable" positions again and again.

I can remember a few cases. Like in 1994, I'm sure everybody can remember the Michael Fay incident. It was so famous that the theme was made into an episode of the Simpsons depicting Bart in Australia and getting his bum booted. Clinton (old Bill of course) said then that the punishment was extreme and blah blah. Human rights issues were thrown about. Well America, I've got one word for you. "Guantanamera". Shit, I meant, "Guantanamo".

Hop to the following year, it was the maid domestic helper, Flor Contemplacion who, obviously not true to her name, failed to contemplate (seriously this is not funny) and killed fellow maid domestic helper, Delia Maga and her employer's 3 year old son, Nicholas Huang. Filipinos, instead of conserving what ever little resources they have, decided to protest and started burning fuel resources. They bascially burned the Singapore flag. Like, oh, oh, that's really really, really really, really really, realy really really....hurting. In a hurting-ly kinda way. *sob*. It was a big deal I guess. I cannot remember if they had the burning of effigies, you know, like in Guy Fawkes and Bonfire night in England. Well, Philippines, I've got one word for you. *momentarily silence* Well, make that 3 words. "No m'am, cannot (pronounced "khen nhawt" - typical tagalog fashion)!"

Fast forward to the new millennium, we see Howard (Australia PM) and other top Australian leaders saying it was barbaric, how Australian of Vietnamese descent, Nguyen Tuong Van was executed for smuggling of drugs. Weirdly, this is a different side of everyday Australia that I seldom see / hear about. I am not saying Australians are racists. You have to ask friends who studied or lived there, working...you know, extended periods for their opinions on this. I just rememeber Cronulla Beach, Sydney. I think they're not racists. I blame it on the genetic make up because of their ancestral bloodline. *ouch* I suppose I have to have a word or two for Australia. I'll come back to you on this one.

You see, the IMF chief speaks of how important it is to have discussions with NGOs. What else can he say? That NGOs are just people with too much time on their hands, some, though very rarely, laced with vengeance in their blood as they mount violent protests? Sure, the IMF / World Bank delegates might be secretly enjoying the relative peace that was provided by Singapore for this conference but will they come out and say, "Bloody good job yous peoples. Yeah, banning those muthafuckers was the best thing to do!"

Instead, what we're more likely to hear is how the IMF and World Bank genuinely are interested in discussions and hearing a multitude of views. So Singapore becomes the bogeyman, reinforcing the label that was tagged to us, "authoritarian", "repressive", what else?

Are we gonna hear Clinton say, "Yeah, cane that muthafucker! And please don't send him back to America, we've got 15 million of Michael Fays already!" Do Australians actually care about another gook being killed? They can't say that. Governments are equally pressured, by their objective of remaining in office, to please what is viewed as the "common view" although this might not be the view of the "silent majority". It's a case of public relations. Fidel Ramos was at the brink of his power and his country was in a mess. In comes Singapore and the Flor case. Convenient diversion.

Is there a chink in the leadership? Whatever happened to sovereignty? We've essentially bowed down to pressure. Sure, we can state all we want, that the decision was reversed with much contemplation. We didn't do so in the cases stated above. Neither did we bow down on land reclamation issues, water issues, Pedra Branca issues. So now just because we're providing 4 million freaking smiles to the world, we are backing down? That's bullshit.

iPod fanboys/girls alert!!!

Lotsa new toys to fill x'mas stockings with!!!
First up is the new iPod Shuffle.
The new design now has a clip incorporated. Nifty!
You wanna know how small it is.....like the size of the coin pocket in a normal 5-pocket denim.

Shit....that's.....that's......coin-pocket-sized small!

So that's really really, really really, really really, really really really, like, really really, coin-pockety, small. Really really. *Zoolander accent*

The nano is also given a new spin:

Damn....the new packaging makes it so drool-worthy. Like really really, really really, really really, really really really, like, really really, drool-worthy-ly kinda of way.

And they are thinner than the original. So it claims. How can it be possible??? And they come in a myriad of colours.

But only the black has the 8GB version. Evil twats! It's like S$428. Which is the same price as the new 30 GB iPod Video. There's the obscenely large capacity brand new 80GB iPod Video. Great for porn fans. Just load them and wank away in your nearest public toilet, lonely bus rides, boring lift rides, sleep-inducing lectures and the locations are limited only by your wildest imagination/fetish.

What's really great about the new iPod Video is the addition of many new games like pacman, tetris, golf and bejeweled. *yawn*.


images taken from apple

Why I like fat people

I like fat vertically-challenged or BMI-challenged people.

No.

Seriously.

Is it just me? Fat people are usually more gregarious right?



"This hurts!"

Battery!

yay! it took much shorter than the 4-6 weeks promised by the staff at applecentreorchard.

i just got my replacement battery and it is, at this moment, charging up nicely.

happiness.

i'm gonna bring it to the suntec area soon. free wifi!

In other police news

Unless you've been in a time capsule during the last month, you'd have known that the IMF and World Bank conference is happening right here, right now.

So as Singapore transform into a police state until the 20th, thereafter reverting to a nanny state, we will be smiling smiling smiling.
No one is particularly interested in what the conference is about. All we hear about is the banning of outdoor demonstrations by groups, benefits to tourism and the like, bloated hotel rack rates, escort agencies enjoying a boom, smiles smiles smiles, empty shopping malls, and dunno what else....

So if you're still dumb enough to risk your life by smuggling drugs and duty upaid cigarettes, through the Woodlands Checkpoint, it just clearly states that you are an imbecile or very desperate.

Tan Sri Musa Hassan

So the Royal Malaysian Polis has a new Inspector General. That's like the top honcho.

I came to know of this because the local news was reporting. And I heard him answering some questions from the press. One of his answer was, "...the immediate concern is crime..."

Damn right it is. Weird thing is, if the polis is not concerned with crime, what else? For a moment I thought he was talking about the postmen or firemen in Malaysia. So he actually made the relation between crime and polis a revelation. Amazing! As if previously the polis force was concerning themselves with other stuff. Perhaps helping old macik cross the road, accepting bribes from kenny sia, wearing anti-corruption badges.

He's got a law degree from UK and his father is a popular personality in television from the 1960s. His brothers are the former Selangor State executive councillor and former host of the popular game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

I wish him well.

Things that keep me up at night (not the whippoorwhills' call)

Sleep will not come to this tired body now
Peace will not come to this lonely heart

I've never been one to plan for my life. So it's been a tumble, hop and skip to my present state.
Don't be mistaken. I'm not saying that everything was up to chance. It was more like making good out of the situations that I found myself in and making the most out of the opportunities I was given.

And here I am.

But what happens over the next two years?
What happens thereafter?

There are like a million (ok, last count it was 3,828 but that's close to a million right?) decisions that I have to make but I'm constantly pushing them off.

Maybe I just need to be selfish when it comes to decision-making.

She comes to me like an angel out of time
As I play the part of a saint on my knees

Angels

You girls just gotta wait......

Unbelievable Truth

For those (not that many, offhand I only know Son Of Singapore) who are interested to know when will Unbelievable Truth be releasing their next album, well...some good news and some bad news.

Unbelievable Truth broke up in 2000 September.
They had a second album, Sorrythankyou, as well as a double CD of unreleased and B-side tracks.
Both of which you cannot find in this island.
Andy Yorke (lead singer) has finished recording new material for his new solo album.
He recorded it with Jason Moulster and Nigel Powell (this guy formed a band called The Sad Song Co.) who were part of Unbelievable Truth.
Andy Yorke's debut solo album should be out in 2007.
You can hear some of them here.

......Said Sadly

....Said Sadly

You should know that I love you
We should love like lovers do
And I can't help but fall for you
Oh honey I'm just a fool
Now you know

Darling, I'll never be true
You see, for so long I was blue (I'm not the lonely one)

And if I hurt, then you will, too
Oh honey I always lose
Now you know

Lover, when will you?
I'm so afraid that no one cares
Lover, can't find you
I swear to God don't leave me here
Now you know

Only you know that it can't be
When no one else here really means
Anything to me
If you hurt inside
If you confide in me again

Since you ran away
Hold me now, tell me how
Nothing's lost

Lover, when will you?
I'm so afraid that noone cares
Lover, can't find you
And no one knows what brings us here
Lover
Hold me now
Hold me now
Tell me how
Nothing's lost

Hold me now - Nina Gordon
Tell me how - James I'ha
Nothing's lost - Together
~ song taken from Bullet With Butterfly Wings
single found in
Aeroplane Flies High Box Set by The Smashing Pumpkins

Akeelah And The Bee

Anyone caught this movie?

I had people around me saying fuchsia (as in the colour) should be pronounced as Fuck Siah.

I remember talking about brand of lubricants called Fuchs. So should it be pronounced as fudge-s as in such or fucks?

And this super useful word: Logorrhea. Logo + Diarrhea.

So instead of saying "verbal diarrhea" when mr/miss smarty pants is going on and on, just use "logorrhea". Convenient!

Keane is "so rock and roll!"

Keane is cancelling their North America tour so that lead singer Tom Chaplin can complete his rehab programme for drug and alcohol addiction.

I should start relooking at their lyrics. Perhaps when he was singing Somewhere Only We Know, he meant that certain drug pusher around the corner. So it was like some wink wink hint hint moment with drug fans in home town Battle, East Sussex? And the lyric: I'm getting old and I need something to rely on? Very suspicious - suddenly.

This Is The Last Time? This is the last time / That I will say these words / I remember the first time / The first of many lies / Sweep it into the corner / Or hide it under the bed / Say these things they go away / But they never do. Like, wow, it was so obvious. Hiding the little bolts of single malt scottish whisky? Or the magnums of champagne? Sweeping needles under the carpet?

I could probably go on. But I'll keep it short. Hope Tom Chaplin can really get better and make a better third album since the "difficult" second album is already out.

Le P'tit Breton

This quaint little bit of Brittany that was dropped off somewhere in Upper Thomson Rd, opposite the Longhouse hawker centre seems to be getting a slew of bad publicity recently.

My first visit was with Jinks, Jenny and little Jolie (plus the one in the tummy). That was sometime in June. I went there again in August. With V, as promised. It was too filling for her. Not unexpected since it's mostly flour.

Found in the Sunday Times today is this 41 year old teacher who was man-handled out of the restaurant by the french chef and the photo that came along with the article featured her with some red patches on her arms. She wore a cross. The cross appeared diamond studded. It could have been cubic zirconia but I wouldn't have known better. Wearing a cross would mean she's christian right? Or maybe it was an accessory favoured by the teacher. Anyhow, apparently she was told not to consume "outside food" (typical expression found at food courts, but in this case, it's more like "outside drink") but continued to do so saying the owners were nit picking.

She was yanked out of the restaurant. By "le chef".

Compare this with another incident experienced by wurh at iggy's.

Sweet.

U*SA*HA*NA co-operated after much bargaining while I was on the way to the airport.


Worked like a charm....

The evil that soft toys can do.

Fulfill your destiny! Sanrio damn it!

So I got a U*SA*HA*NA for V which I planned to surprise her with at the airport this evening right....

Like I said, everybody's in on the secret. Except her, fingers crossed, since she shouldn't have had any chance of reading this blog since I put up that blog entry.

It's about 2 hours away from her scheduled arrival at Changi Terminal 2. Murphy comes a'knockin'. Damn it.

Like I implored for her co-operation to be cute when V arrives so that V can be cheered up. Just as I wanted to stuff her into a plastic bag to carry to the airport, I noticed something shockingly unnerving. I shan't bother explaining. Here's a thousand words to show you why:

By the powers of Sanrio! I compel you! The power of Sanrio compels you!

I will continue to importune her to act cute as I make my way to the airport with a heavy heart.

Disney Management: I smell a rat amongst us.

That would have been a classic wouldn't it?

I Smell A Rat Amongst Us

Disney, according to sources, have been in talks with the Singapore Tourism Board. After spurning the advances of Johor to develop a Disney theme park in Marina East. Hmm...so what happened to rumours of including Singapore, Marina in the F1 circuit?

So will Singapore finally fulfill the prophecy of William Gibson's 1993 blurb written for Wired magazine? A Disneyland with the Death Penalty? Eh, wait. We already are. Anyway, Gibson, in that abovementioned piece was just so full of soundbites And laden with inaccuracies. Well, they were accurate, if one viewed Singapore with jaundiced eyes. I have a feeling that if he were a Singaporean, he will most probably get his parents to pay him out of NS. Cause....he "left the United States for Canada, primarily to escape the draft" (Vietnam War). He probably won't be accorded as much leeway if he ever chooses to return (not that he will) had he escaped NS. That's because he can't play the piano. Well, not with as much virtuosity and adroitness of a certain Melvin Tan.

Back to Disney news: Guess who visited Disneyland in California?

Banksy!
Visitors were given an extra special treatat Disneyland in Anaheim California. A life-size Guantanamo bay inmate standing inside the Rocky Mountain Railroad! Brand new subversive display of American might!
From wooster: The sculpture, consisting of an inflatable doll dressed in an orange jumpsuit with its hands and feet manacled remained in place for one and a half hours before Disneyland's security staff shut down the ride and removed it amid fears over public safety.

Hahaha!


From wooster.

Everyone's in on the secret!

Following my post on U*SA*HA*NA*, poof also blogged about her.

Tomorrow, V's coming back from Hong Kong on what seemed to be a rather enervating working trip. So to cheer her up a little, I'll bring this along to the airport to pick her up (no license and no car....so cab home with her):

I hope it can assuage her lethargy somewhat.

U*SA*HA*NA! You better do your job and ...erm....act cute. Like really kawaii-neh cute. Kute. C.U.T.E.

*fingers crossed* V doesn't read this before she arrives in Changi.

have you met U*SA*HA*NA*?

Perfection

In case some of you don't read Xiaxue for whatever reasons (pride, ego, intellect, plain ol' "I can't believe that bitch is famous!' syndrome, jealousy, misogyny, from another planet), here is a video link I got from her blog entry today.

Link


It's like The Bachelor or rather, The Bachelorette. But with a very very wicked twist.

It's so wicked I can't help but say that it is wicked, in a wickedy wickity wickitious wickituous way. Well....yeah. Wicked.

Conspiracy

I think there's a conspiracy going on.
Remember last month Apple started recalling the Sony made batteries?
So last weekend I went over to the Orchard Apple Centre at Wheelock to change the battery. Mine was bought last December to replace the original battery. So it was still under the one year warranty. It was faulty so the recall came at the right time...kinda....Anyway, the guy said the replacement will come only after 4-6 weeks. At the back of my mind I was thinking it will be closer to 6 than 4.

When I got home, I read that Suntec is gonna have a free trial for Wifi access. Free for the month of September. So how? I don't have laptop to bring around...

narbeh.....they gang up to cheat Dell and Mac users!

More conspiracy though less sinister in nature. Hail the latest male baby born into the Japanese Royal family in 4 decades! But hmmm....how come Princess Kiko had to be admitted into hospital since 16 Aug. She gave birth by Caesarean Section today 6 Sep. Weirdly, no news of the gender was made known before that. Surely Japanese hospitals have ultrasound scans. And the gender of babies can be had from as early as 16 weeks into the pregnancy. Weird hor? Never scan. Somemore give birth must admit so early, like so hush hush.

A List, by any other name.

I have decided, in the numerous spare 15-minute segments of my life when I am not enjoying fame, to come up with a list of all the songs I have (or vaguely remember hearing or owning or something) that contain female names.

Alphabetical order.

Tedious.

But like I said, I have moments when I am not enjoying fame. Like just now, now and later. Same for yesterday, today and probably for much of tomorrow.

There are some weird selections like Porcelina Of The Vast Oceans by The Smashing Pumpkins (when will they release their new album?) Who calls herself or their daughter Porcelina? There are two songs with the name Hope in them. I remembered that it can be a name when I included a Mazzy Star number. The vocalist for Mazzy Star is Hope Sandoval. There was the possibility of adding more weird names from dancetracks but....it was really tedious. Like more tedious than to sort the list I have into alphabetical order. So I didn't bother. Other weird female names in this list are Gold, Phoenix and China. These names seem to be better suited for American Gladiators but heck, I didn't say the list is for common names. The most common name in this list, by far, is Mary.

U, W, X and Y are empty. Not for a purpose. There are empty because I don't have any.

So anyway, here's the what how.

A
Aisha – Death In Vegas
Alice – Cocteau Twins
Amie – Damien Rice
Annie – Vanessa Carlton
Cadillac Annie – Clarence Reid
Amber – 311
Alison – K
Amber (Insect Intelligence) – Banco de Gaia
Anna Begins – Counting Crows
Amy Hit The Atmosphere – Counting Crows
Ann - Bread
Aubrey – Bread
Angelica – Lamb
Angel – Massive Attack
Angel – Sarah MacLachlan
Adia – Sarah MacLachlan
Ava Adore – Smashing Pumpkins
Annie Dog – Smashing Pumpkins
Amber Waves – Tori Amos
Yes, Anastasia – Tori Amos
Angel – Unbelievable Truth
Angel – X-press 2

B
Blossom – Ryan Adams
Broken Barbie Doll – Rialto

C
Carolina Rain – Ryan Adams
Charlie – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Cherry Lane – Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
China Blue – Julia Fordham
Crystal Ball – keane
Hotel Chelsea Nights – Ryan Adams
Celestine – Banco de Gaia
Crystal – New Order
Catherine’s Wheel – Rialto
Cherry – Smashing Pumpkins

D
Dakota – Stereophonics
Dani California – red Hot chilli peppers
Diamond Dogs – Beck
When Debbie’s Back From Texas – Stina Nordenstam
Daphne Descends – Smashing Pumpkins

E
Elizabeth, you were born to play that part – Ryan Adams
Emily – Keane
Emily – Louis Eliot
Evangeline – Cocteau Twins
Erica Kane – Aaliyah
Goodnight Elisabeth – Counting Crows
A Letter To Elise – The Cure

F
Faron Young – Prefab Sprouts

G
Georgia Rain – Joshua Kadison
Ginger – Hooverphonic
Gold – Lamb
Gold In The Air Of Summer – Kings Of Convenience
Grace – Jeff Buckley
Why Georgia – John Mayer

H
Hazel – Cocteau Twins
Helena - Chemical Brothers
Just Like Honey – Jesus And The Mary Chain
Honey – Moby
Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us – My Chemical Romance
Hope – Toad the Wet Sprocket
Hope There’s Someone – Antony And The Johnsons

I
Isobel – Bjork
Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
Isobel – Dido
Iris – Live

J
Thoughts Of Mary Jane – Nick Drake
Joey – Nick Drake
Jacqueline – Franz Ferdinand
Jessie – Joshua Kadison
Jolene – 10,000 Maniacs with David Byrne
Lazy Line Painter Jane – Belle & Sebastian
Photo Jenny – Belle & Sebastian
Judy Is A Dick Slap – Belle & Sebastian
Josephine – The Wallflowers
Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine – The Killers
Jackie’s Strength – Tori Amos
Josephine – Tori Amos

K
Konstantine – Something Corporate
Hello Kitty Kat – Smashing Pumpkins

L
Goodbye Lucille #1 – Prefab Sprout
Lola’s Theme – Shapeshifters
Lolita – Stereophonics
Lily (my one and only) – Smashing Pumpkins
Sweet Leilani – Chris Isaak
Lisa Listen – Lisa Loeb
Luna – Smashing Pumpkins

M
Thoughts Of Mary Jane – Nick Drake
Magnolia Mountain – Ryan Adams and the Cardinal
Marian – Nouvelle Vague
Mary’s In India – Dido
Mary’s of the Sea – Tori Amos
Martha’s foolish Ginger -Tori Amos
Metal Mickey – Suede
Mary Jo – Belle & Sebastian
Bloody Mary (A Note On Apathy) – Five For Fighting
Mary Of Silence – Mazzy Star
Mayfair – Nick Drake
For Martha – Smashing Pumpkins
Marianne – Tori Amos

N
Nancy Boy – Placebo
Nightingale –Norah Jones
Nadia – Nitin Sawhney
Natalie’s Party – Shack
Natale’s Song – Sia
Believe Me Natalie – The Killers

O
Ophelia – Natalie Merchant

P
Phoenix – Daft Punk
Pearly Dewdrop’s Drops – Cocteau Twins
Polly – Nirvana
Pennyroyal Tea – Nirvana
Porcelina Of The Vast Oceans – Smashing Pumpkins

Q
50 ft Queenie – PJ Harvey

R
Walk Away Renee – Rickie lee Jones
El Tango De Roxanne – Ewan MacGregor et al
Through The Eyes Of Ruby – Smashing Pumpkins
Rachel’s Song – Vangelis

S
All for you Sophia – Franz Ferdinand
Susie – Humpback Oak
Sally Ann – Natalie Merchant
Shanti/Ashtangi – Madonna
Shanti – Banco de Gaia
Serena – Duncan Sheik
To Sheila – Smashing Pumpkins
A Girl Named Sandoz – Smashing Pumpkins
Starla – Smashing Pumpkins
Shelia Take A Bow – The Smiths
Scarlet’s Walk – Tori Amos

T
Talula – Tori Amos

U

V
Violet – Seal
Ultraviolet (light my way) – U2
Ultra Violet – Cable
Violaine – Cocteau Twins
Venus As A Boy – Bjork
Virginia – Tori Amos

W

X

Y

Z
Zoe Tay – The Boredphucks

Prancing about town

Had absolutely nothing better to do so decided to head down town to eat dinner and have myself a walkabout.

After dinner, I headed towards Wheelock as I wanted to take a looksee around Borders. Ok, secretly I was trying to look for stuff by Jim O'rourke, Duncan Sheik and M.Ward. No such luck. Only consolation was this old album by M.Ward called Transfiguration of Vincent. Bought it anyway...
(image from Amazon)

They have this sculpture by Salvador Dali newly placed right outside the entrance to Wheelock facing the junction of Orchard and Paterson Road. It's called Alice In Wonderland. It's very easy to recognise cause I saw it in Italy when Yugin and I took a detour and left the main group to see this Dali sculpture exhibition. I think it was in Rome. Can't really remember. It was 6 years ago. Yugin's getting married this Saturday. It's in Brighton. I had plans to go but...sometimes I take too much stuff into consideration, wind up pleasing no one. Including myself.

Anyway, back to Alice In Wonderland.

You see those crutches? The Y-shaped stick? You know what they mean? To Dali, everything that he creates gotta have meaning. Duh. Anyway, those are crutches. This is what he says of them:

"Such being the case, I decided to join forces with the group of invalids whose snobbism propped up a decadent aristocracy which still stuck to its traditional attitude. But I had the original idea of not coming with empty hands, like all the rest. I arrived, in fact, with my arms loaded with crutches! One thing I realized immediately. It would take quantities and quantities of crutches to give a semblance of solidity to all that. And I inaugurated the 'pathetic crutch', the prop of the first crime of my childhood, as the all-powerful and exclusive post-war symbol - crutches to support the monstrous development of certain atmospheric-cephalic skulls, crutches immobilize the ecstasy of certain attitudes of rare elegance, crutches to make architectural and durable the fugitive pose of a choreograpic leap, to pin the ephemeral butterfly of the dancer with pins that would keep her poised for eternity. Crutches, crutches, crutches, crutches."

Ok.....go figure (pun?).

There is another Dali sculpture in Singapore that is on permanent display. Wow! 1 Dali sculpture for every 2 million Singaporeans. We must have the highest per capita publicly displayed Dali sculpture in between the tropics. The other Dali sculpture is placed away from the mall rats. Instead, it is placed in the middle of another pack of rats. Those climbing the corporate ladder. Which yours truly, will one day, perhaps, join in. The sculpture, found at the atrium of UOB Plaza, is Homage To Newton. The one with the open stomach holding onto his ball-like apple. Yup, that's by Dali. It's not the only one in the world...I got the picture below from this American girl who visited Singapore around this time 2 years ago. Kristine, please don't sue.

Anyway, all I want for Christmas is to have original prints from David Roberts and Quentin Blake. I think I would like them for my home when I have one.

This above is from Mick Jackson's new book.
Everybody loves Quentin Blake. Right?

But fuck me, the two of them don't seem to have original prints for sale.
Ok, don't take me literally. I don't wish to be fucked by you just because I can't get them prints. Dipstick.

Singapore Dreaming 第一集

Chinese 陪读妈妈 (PDMM): So what was your dream occupation?

Former Army Guy Failing Insurance Agent (FAGFIA): I wanted to be a musician.

PDMM: So why didn't you become a musician?

FAGFIA: Are you kidding? You won't earn any money as a musician in Singapore!

PDMM: Well....

FAGFIA: So what is yours?

PDMM: I want to be a fashion designer.

FAGFIA: You can pursue your dream.

PDMM: I have no money!

FAGFIA: Hey! That means we're both in the same predicament!

PDMM: No, we're not the same. You gave up your dream and you're now in a job you hate. All for the pursuit of money. I am in a job I hate for the pursuit of money so that I can fulfil my dream. We're different.

Not since 2 is the new 4 and 0 is the new 2. 6, aha! Is the new 14

I probably botched the line from the movie The Devil Wears Prada in the title of this entry.

Cerulean.

Conjures up images of the Aegean sea. Some princess being chained to a boulder overlooking the ocean. A sacrificial virgin to appease the sea serpent.

When Miranda Priestly (Beastly) goes on about how Andi's (female protagonist) lumpy "blue" (cerulean, actually) pullover was indirectly chosen for her by the people in the room after the derisive tone with which Andi laughed at them for fussing over two seemingly similar belt.

"Stuff? Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet, and you select, I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that sweater is not just blue. It's not turquoise. It's not lapis. It's actually cerulean. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002 Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St. Laurent, wasn't it, who showed a selection of cerulean military jackets. And then cerulean quickly showed up in collections of eight different designers. It filtered down through the department stores, and then trickled down into some tragic Casual Corner where you undoubtedly fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs. It's sort of comical how you think you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry, when in fact, you're wearing a sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room... from "a pile of stuff."

I checked for the aforementioned 2002 Oscar de la Renta collection. Don't have cerulean gowns leh....

Anyway, the lesson that left the greatest impression on me was what Nigel (token fashion faggot) said about personal life and career. If one is doing well, the other will surely suffer.
And when you're personal life hits the grave, you're due for a promotion.

Is this true in real life? I mean, the advertising world seems to be so, especially after what Neil French said about women in advertising.

So the movie was about that really. Finding that delicate balance between career, values, ethics, personal life, love life and all these things.....The fashion setting was incidental. But it made the movie a lot more eye-candy-ish.

Just got off the phone

I just called V who is in Hong Kong on work assignment. She didn't reply to my sms since last night so I thought I'd better call just to make sure.

It's obvious that she is ok because I just got off the phone with her.

The thing with V is that she seldom sound enthusiastic when her boyfriend calls her. She's not like some schnauzer or jack russell, prancing around the owner, hankering for attention. She's like a genteel siamese, who offers a mere purr if you can so much as raise her interest. A smile, god forbid, is like asking for water to be squeezed out from stone.

Ok, she'll get angry if she reads this. Anyway, she's not animated over the phone. That's my point. With me at least.

She's back next week!

More on truths and Pluto (not Mickey's pet)

Scientists challenge Pluto's demotion!!

It is very important that we respond. Because "in fact we have some serious decisions to make because we have to decide how far to go, what tone to set. And it's not just all fun and games. I give you an example. You put out a funny podcast definition (see below in quotations), you talk about bak chor mee Pluto not planet. I will say >mee siam mai harm Pluto is a dwarf planet . Then we compete. Then what will I do? I will hire Jack Neo Clyde Tombaugh to be my National Day Rally adviser the Chairman of International Astronomical Union (IAU). It'll be a fun time, we will enjoy thoroughly, go home totally entertained. But is this the way to deal with serious issues? And the problem is, it won't stop with fun and games. You'll go to distortions, you'll go to half-truths, you'll go to untruths, the tone of the debate will go down, eventually, you race to the bottom.

According to the IAU, a body can be considered a planet if it orbits the Sun, is large enough to be made round by its own gravity, and has cleared the area around it of smaller cosmic objects. That definition would exclude Earth and other planets that are pelted with asteroids, Stern said. Others who did not sign the petition also criticized the IAU's decision.

Now we all know people in IAU have so much free time to talk cock. Somebody ought to spend more time thinking what was the right way to fix them. See, things like this won't go on in Singapore.

I would say whatever the risks in this new world solar system, whatever the uncertainties, we have to press on, move ahead, open up. You cannot freeze in the headlights, take fright and just stop in your tracks. You will be run over. We have to keep on moving forward, open up and this basic approach cannot change.

We don't have all the answers. We don't know what all the risks are. We are feeling our way forward step by step.

We have got to keep this government IAU serious and responsible. We can't govern publish science textbooks based on jokes, we can't govern define planets based on sound-bites, or distortions. You have to have debates which will add reason, which will add enlightenment, which will come to a conclusion, and not just end up in angry words and name calling, or, if you take the Taiwanese Parliament a typical Sicilian summer wedding, where they throw things at each other and even the women are part of the battle.