Collide - I feel 18 again

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

There are some songs that make you feel young again. And this evening, after a rather reflective period where I meet people who've at various stages of my life stepped in and out and intermittently ever since, I chance upon this song by Howie Day that somehow took me back to a forgotten time. Like how a Goo Goo Dolls song can sometimes do to me.

I'm open You're closed
Where I'll follow You'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Can you remember when there was a period of time when you wake up each day, ready to face it because the worries of yesterday had already melted? Why is it that you find it so hard to hide the worries these days? Somehow your face, to a lesser extent aged by time, seemed to have aged by the questions and worries that surround your everyday.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find You and I collide

You might have felt invincible then. But you realise how fallible you really are. You never thought you could lose. You didn't. But you never won anything either. Nevertheless there is this "someone out there" whom you've chosen to believe in, who can sweep you off your feet and hopefully you can swept her off hers. However much you try to control your desires, some things, fate for example, just aren't meant to be controlled. Love, like a wicked game, is another.

I'm quiet You know,
You make a first impression.
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Wound heals faster when you're young. Leaving behind only scars that don't hurt anymore. It's strange, and a little funny, that while we tend to the wounds, we sometimes don't want them to heal. And finally when only scars remain, we sometimes still gently tease them, tracing the patterns that the scars have formed, knowing that they will never disappear yet you won't miss them if they do.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
Somehow find You and I collide

So you pick yourself up again and again. Telling yourself, "The next one will matter."

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

You lose yourself in the pace. You lose yourself in someone else's race. You've gone too far in and you have no option but to keep up. You can't stop.

Even the best fall down sometimes.
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme.
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find You and I collide.

And you tell yourself again and again, "The next one will matter."