Blogging dilemma

One of my friend asked me about blogging recently. He reads my blog on an (ir)regular basis. Whenever he finds the entry interesting, he will tell other people about it.

He asked me if I check my site meter regularly.
Which started me thinking. I never really bothered about the the number of visits and page views. Until when I was tomorrowed. By Mr Brown no less!

I remember checking it on a quarter-hourly basis. And even checked it again before I left for work the next day.

But do I check it now? Yeah, well, yes. But not on a quarter-hourly basis. Maybe half-hourly daily or less. And the page views don't bother me as much. It's how people find me that interest me more.

He then asked me why I started blogging.
Then I remember that must have been when this blogging thing really took off. Maybe not yet in Singapore. Then I chanced upon somebody's blog and a number of people were commenting about the entry. I think it was a sad entry and people (including myself) felt a little something for the blogger. I might have been the only stranger who felt that way but that got me thinking. So I decided to create a blog and called it little fish and since I didn't really know what was it for, I decided that this blog will become my source of entertainment - hence "things to play and do".

It wasn't until a couple of months later that I made another entry.

And then it wasn't until end of 2004 that I put in another entry.

It's always near christmas. I never really liked christmas period since 1997.

So I don't really know why I started my blog.

He asked what I blogged about.
I guess while answering this question, I found a some bits of answer as to why I am blogging now. I blog about nothing everything anything. It's like a source to off load whatever creativity I have left in me. Might have something to do with the fact that I am a Pisces. Might not. It can be useful to vent frustration, be it those pent up at work, or with friends, daily situations.

But your friends read your blog. Your colleagues read your blog. Strangers read your blog. Wouldn't it be bad if you are bitchin' about a friend who happens to stumble upon your blog. Hey, I got a friendster blog too.



And that blog directs anyone who cares to this blog. Notice I never bitch about friends here?

So I was telling V about this conundrum - a blog might be for venting frustration but you might not be able to cause the person you are piss with reads your blog. And you don't really know how widely read your blog may be. So isn't it even more frustrating when you cannot totally be honest and spit venom at people cause they might be offended.

I guess that's why some choose to be anonymous. Others create secondary blogs that are not for public consumption. There are those who use codenames or change the names of people.

But I am too lazy to create another blog just for that. I guess I have to live with it that I can never really be honest in this blog. By that I mean I will not be able to diss certain people who I work with, go out on weekends with etc etc.... And I cannot say that this really jude girl (damn, people don't use jude anymore right? they use chio or something) is eyeing me at work, or that I think I am the most awfullest blogger.

Oh bother. Hate self-censorship.

So, Jasper, if you are reading this. Go fuck yourself. You don't deserve to be alive. I hate to say this. You suck!

Hahahahahahhahahahahaha..............this is so........liberating......like some form of emancipation. This must have been how the slaves felt after their manumission. This must be what catharsis feels like.

t",t