Sunday, May 11, 2008

Boris for Mayor!

I was mentioning Boris Johnson in passing in January.

My hope of a brighter future for London did come true!

Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

- Boris Johnson, Mayor of London

This guy did promise bigger boobies for your wife and an increased chance of owning a BMW M3. Notice he said bigger boobies for wife and not a bigger/thicker/longer dick for the husband. Proof of Boris not being sexist! He has this uncanny ability to know the thoughts of the common (wo)man. More men and women, collectively, wish for bigger boobs than a bigger/thicker/longer dick. Most men think that they are adequately well-endowed and a good percentage of the womenfolk - the dishonest group, did say that it's not the size that matters but how it is use.

And reflective of his heritage (a mongrel, like London), instead of promising Aston Martins and Bentleys, he goes for thrilling quality rides like BMWs. Realist through and through. Not letting patriotism blind him to quality.

Side story: I remember a certain tipsy Colonel who made a flippant remark about size of our ships alluding to the size of the *cough cough* at a post-cocktail affair in Surabaya. He was the captain of the biggest class of ships (landing ship, tank) in the navy. I casually said that while the gunboats were small, we more than made up the lack of size with firepower. I should have stopped there. But naturally, I didn't. I continued to say that the landing ship tanks seemed to be naturally designed for loading from the stern and off-loading from the bow. That was laughed off.

And I particularly like this quote about the LibDems.

"The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition."
Void = vacuum = inanition. neat

No comments: