A suicide bomber and his 72 vestal virgins

There was this special article in Guardian couple of years back and I am glad I found it online. It was about rewarding Muslim martyrs with virgins and other sensual pleasures upon reaching paradise.

I wonder how much they believe in this. By "they", I mean the suicide bomber or anyone who believes enough that their action is according to what is decreed in the Koran. By "this" I refer to the sensual reward of 72 vestal virgins. But martyrs make the distinction that they are not suicide bombers but shahid.

judging by the number of suicide bombers shahids, it must be an orgy up there by now. The three Bali bombers should be having a fun time with a total of 216 virgins.

Wow.

Very wow.

But according to the Guardian report, the translations may not have been accurate due to the varying languages that were used. Syriac (an Aramaic dialect - yes, the Aramaic in the Mel Gibson movie, The Passion of Christ) and Arabic was confused. So the word for doe-eyed virgins may have been confused with white raisins understood implicitly as chilled drinks. Imagine the suicide bombers shahids passing through the gates and waiting for their virginal Siti, Fatimah, Rashidah, Aisha, Saleema...I am sure some will have the same name so we might have Fatimah 1, 2 and 3? But instead all they find is cool drink? They would be so disappointed. Must be feeling cheated. Actually I think the more wicked thing would be to have 72 vestal male virgins waiting for the suicide bombers shahids, queueing up to sodomise him 72 times.

Modern apologists of Islam try to downplay the evident materialism and sexual implications of such descriptions, but, as the Encyclopaedia of Islam says, even orthodox Muslim theologians such as al Ghazali (died 1111 CE) and Al-Ash'ari (died 935 CE) have "admitted sensual pleasures into paradise". The sensual pleasures are graphically elaborated by Al-Suyuti (died 1505 ), Koranic commentator and polymath. He wrote: "Each time we sleep with a houri we find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation that you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one [ie Muslim] will marry seventy [sic] houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetising vaginas."

Haha, penis of the Elected never softens.
Beat that Kenny Sia and Rockson Tan!

I think that the cause of fainting is because after being sodomised 72 times....you'll either be needing stitches or sanitary pads to staunch the bleeding.

Shit. Is this seditious?